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Bizzar
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Maybe this isn't the place for something like this, but I seem to be out of hope. I never saw myself as one to be so dependant... especially on someone like you, someone who I knew from the start would be difficult to love. You are stubborn in your solitude. Contempt by yourself in your head. And I've always respected your space. We've always had a sort of mutual understanding, you had things you could not do, and I never complained or made you say or do anything you weren't comfortable with.
Now... surprisingly we made it a year and a half and everything has had such a smooth fow to it. We were no cuddly, romantic love birds, we never put on a show, we were just perfect the way we were. Content with eachother, alone. We rarely fought, and when we did it was always silly. You have always been sort of contradictory, if thats even a word. Telling me of how you didnt need anyone but yourself, and how you would be ok without me, and in the same day be upset over the fact that a friend of the male gender called my cell phone. I always found it quite endearing.
So why the sudden change? What do I do when the feeling in the pit of my stomache is making me gag, but you won't tell me what's wrong? How can things just all of a sudden be different, with no slope... no fade just boom done. Everything is off. I don't know what it is that's making me feel so strange around you, so I don't know where to begin to try and fix it. And you're no help at all. Sometimes I feel like it disgusts you to even look at me. Does everything I say make you want to scream? Is there someone else? Someone maybe a bit more intellectual who can keep up with you in a political conversation? Or are you just plain bored?
It really saddens me to think of all the reasons, because the more i think the more I find. Whatever you decide is the reason, and whatever you decide to do... you better realize that you will never find someone who will treat you the way I do. Someone who will put up with your bullshit because Goddamn it I just love you that much. Someone who will do for you all the things I did because it makes me feel so good to see you smile. You've never had anyone like me before, and you'll never have it again.
All Im asking is you think twice before you hurt me.
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040111
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