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misstree rambles. lots.
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and though she sought far and wide, the little tree could find none of her own species.
i need to prefae this rant, and refer people to water_brothers. but brothers are not species... yes... let's get to that, shall we?
story time first. went out with a gent i've known for quite a while. he knows how to hurt people better than just about anyone i've met in a very long time. yay him! this is part of why i insisted on dragging him out to coffee, because he didn't smell like the typical brain in the s&m community, and i wanted to lick him and see if he was someone who could play with me.
yeah. i'm sitting here on blather. you take a guess as to whether i brought him home to play.
it's certainly not that he didn't know what he was doing. and it's not that there was a power imbalance. but the reasons that he was him and i am i are too different to reconcile in such a setting. i was capable of not caring, and so i did.
forgive me for expressing my personal opinoin, but i'm sick as fuck of finding people who "like to play with pain" (not sarcastic), but are brainbox-wise incompatible with myself. it sounds like a shallow thing, but it's just the tip of a very deep-rooted iceberg. incoming sensation is life, to me. it's my bread and butter and air and water and everything in the universe boils down to it. sensation_is_a_sacrament.
to me, this makes perfect sense. there is, at least at this moment, no other conclusion i could have come to. yet, there seems to be no one outside water_brothers who shares this sentiment, and water_brothers are related creatures but not the same species as myself.
where the fuck are all the sensates? is it the curse of the midwest? do they hide from little perki pranksters? is there a conspiracy against me?
so, a thought just occurred to me that negates everything i've just said, regarding the three people i've met in my life who i describe as my species, who had nowhere near the same headspace as me, but i'm going to go contemplate rather than stretch my brain. i have stories to review and a bit of sensation to wallow in, so, well, have a good night, little ocean of blue.
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