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jimmy
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i have seemed both self-possessed, capable, even daring
and fragile, unimaginative, a little boy.
in two nights, not just in concept,
but in my body's memory,
i realized that patience and acceptance
are what makes a lover.
one night was reckless and forgetful,
another was slow building unity.
both girls a foil for the other.
you have a moment of understanding,
and you blow into it like hot glass,
watching it expand.
if it cools or you drop it, it shatters.
some nights, you take it quick like a shot, with a rabbit heart beat,
your eyes dart away from your lust.
but one night, i learned,
i looked up, my eyes were slow and unavoidant.
it's only then you feel as if you've disappeared.
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040223
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