blather
strawberry_juice
(_) in the car, driving(you always put me next to you
in front,
where the filled water bottle sits between us)along
with a radio show on
because there are no CDs in the glove compartment,

clouds shine through an almost-twilight sky,
and we talk over the interview noise occasionally,
[how was your day mom, fine, how was
yours, i hope your brother doesn't
walk home in the dark]
the etcetera of our lives.

there is a lull
as poetry is recited through the airwaves,
and the light suddenly breaks through to life as
it come down in all colors,
making a halo above the world,

and your happy voice grabs my arm, exuberant,
saying: look! that's god! it's goddess!

and i remember
that when we get out of the car
you will pick me secret strawberries
from the bush outside physical therapy

and the red juice, thinner than blood, will stain my lips
like a kiss. 		051112
...
(ugh) please, suggestions, comments, all that good stuff . . . also---should i actually show it to her? *shivers* or should i delete the first stanza entirely? (not mutually exclusive, of course) 051112
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u24 the latter half is imho better than the former. but who am i to judge? 051113
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u24 i like the phrase 'the etcetera of our lives' 051113
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andru235 i concur with u24. i like it from "almost-twilight sky" onward.

i think it's sweet. i've read very little here by someone nervous to show something blathed to a parent. i say, go for it! almost certainly, your parent will be moved in spite of any artistic differences! 		051113
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nom "in the car, driving"
and
"with a radio show on"

both capture me, i feel they help build the rest of the poem.
i like it as it is, with the in between words 		051114
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nom i think it would suffer without the start 051114
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