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okay_it_had_to_be_done_2003_in_review
oldephebe
JANUARY 2003

January 7th: Martha Stewart is named "Most Annoying Person of 2002" by Am-I-Annoying-Dot-Com.

January 7 th: Anna Nicole Smith is named the "Worst Dressed Woman" of 2002 by Mister Blackwell.

January 9th: Actor Jeffrey Jones pleads not guilty to charges that he hired a 14-year-old boy to pose for sexually explicit photos.

January 10th: Steven Spielberg finally gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

January 13th: Actor Richard Chamberlain admits he's gay.

January 13th: 67-year-old tenor Luciano Pavarotti becomes a father for the fourth time, when his 33-year-old girlfriend Nicoletta Mantovani gives birth to a girl.

January 17th: FOX renews The Simpsons through May 2005, at which time it will become the longest-running sitcom in T-V history, passing The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriett.

January 19th: Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa have their first child, a girl they name Natalia Diamante Bryant.

January 23rd: Gimme a Break star Nell Carter dies at the age of 54.

January 24 th: The Brady Bunch's Barry Williams starts his own bunch -- he and wife Eila have their first child, a boy named Brandon.

January 25th: Billy Joel wraps his Mercedes around a Long Island tree.

January 26th: Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd are officially divorced.

January 29th: Athina Roussel, Aristotle Onassis's granddaughter, turns 18 and inherits three-billion dollars!

January 29th: The Smoking Gun reports that Joe Millionaire finalist Sarah Kozer has a past in bondage films.

January 29th: Peter O'Toole tells the Motion Picture Academy he doesn't want their honorary Oscar. He relents in time for the show.

January 31st: Fictional West Wing president Martin Sheen announces he's supporting the still little-known Howard Dean for



FEBRUARY 2003


February 3rd: Police are called to the Alhambra, California estate of legendary record producer Phil Spector, where they find a woman named Lana Clarkson shot to death.

February 3rd: Ben Affleck says he doesn't wear a toupee, calling such rumors "bizarre."

February 4th: Courtney Love is arrested in London after flipping out on a Virgin Airlines flight.

February 4th: Jude Law calls rumors that he is dating Nicole Kidman "malicious, mean-spirited and absolutely untrue."

February 7th: A-B-C airs that weird Living With Michael Jackson B-B-C special.

February 9th: Ben Curtis, the "Dude, you're getting a Dell" guy, is busted in New York and charged with marijuana possession.

February 11th: Steven Seagal testifies in New York that he was the target of a Mafia shakedown for 150-thousand dollars a movie.

February 11th: The L-A district attorney says that Roman Polanski -- a fugitive from justice -- will be arrested if he attends the Academy Awards, at which he is a nominee.

February 12th: Sean Penn sues producer (and Liz Hurley impregnator) Steve Bing, claiming he was dumped from a movie over his views on Iraq.

February 20th: FOX airs Michael Jackson's home movies as a rebuttal to A-B-C's controversial Living With Michael Jackson special.

February 22nd: Tonya Harding makes her debut as a professional boxer. She loses.

February 22nd: Charlton Heston, who is suffering from Alzheimer's, gives a eulogy at a memorial service for journalist Vernon Scott. Heston says, "We played tennis together two weeks ago." Scott died in November and had been incapacitated by a stroke for nearly a decade.

February 25th: M-S-N-B-C sends Phil Donahue back into retirement, axing his new talk show after six months.

February 26th: In an interview with Barbara Walters, accused wife killer Robert Blake accuses L-A police of taking "his life and reputation away from him."

February 27th: Nearly two years after Bonny Lee Bakley is shot to death, a preliminary hearing in the case against Robert Blake is held.

February 27th: In his autobiography I'm Not Perfect, Yankees pitcher David Wells says he was "half-drunk" when he tossed his 1998 perfect game.



MARCH 2003


March 1st: Jerry Seinfeld and wife Jessica have their second child, son Julian Kal.

March 3rd: Vanity Fair claims Michael Jackson is 240-million dollars in debt.

March 3rd: Penguin Books signs up Madonna for a series of five children's books.

March 5th: "Lord of the Dance" Michael Flatley is sued for 35-million dollars by a woman who claims he raped her in Chicago.

March 6th: 60 Minutes signs up Bill Clinton and Bob Dole for a series of mini-debates.

March 13th: A judge rules that Robert Blake will have to stand trial for the murder of his wife Bonny Lee Bakley, but allows the actor, who has been in prison for nearly a year, to be freed on bail.

March 19th: President George W. Bush announces the beginning of the Iraq War.

March 19th: James Gandolfini ends his walkout over money and agrees to begin shooting the fifth season of The Sopranos.

March 23 rd: The 75th annual Academy Awards are held. Chicago, Adrien Brody, Nicole Kidman, Chris Cooper, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Roman Polanski walk away with the big prizes.

March 23rd: Harry Potter author J-K Rowling gives birth to David Gordon Rowling Murray, her first child with husband Neil Murray.

March 24th: A dazed and confused Calvin Klein wanders onto the court in the middle of a New York Knicks game at Madison Square Garden and tries to have a conversation with Latrell Sprewell.

March 26th: C-N-N sends Connie Chung packing.

March 27th: Robert Blake pleads not guilty to murdering his wife.

March 27th: The United Way of Tampa, Florida rescinds an invitation to Susan Sarandon to speak at a fundraiser because of her anti-war stance.

March 31st: David Letterman is back at his talk show after a month off at home with the shingles.

March 31st: FOX's Geraldo Rivera is unimbedded from the war in Iraq by the U-S Army after he appears on the air drawing a map in the sand to show troop movements.



APRIL 2003


April 4th: A few weeks after wandering onto the court at Madison Square Garden during a New York Knicks game, designer Calvin Klein announces he's in drug rehab.
April 7th: World-class womanizer Russell Crowe marries Danielle Spencer in Australia (on his 39th birthday).

April 7th: Winona Ryder completes the community service portion of her sentence for shoplifting.

April 8th: Darryl Strawberry is released from prison after serving 11 months for violating probation on a cocaine conviction.

April 8th: Sean Penn's 1987 Buick, containing two guns, is stolen in Berkeley, California.

April 10th: Sharon Osbourne and Hollywood agent Renee Tab get into a fistfight over a necklace Tab won at an Osbournes party. Sharon says Tab hadn't been invited to the party.

April 17th: Diet guru Doctor Robert Atkins dies in New York, several days after slipping on a patch of ice and hitting his head on the pavement. He was 72.

April 17th: A jury finds Tommy Lee not negligent in the death of a four-year-old who drowned in his pool.

April 20th: Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones have their second child, a daughter named Carys.

April 21st: Long-distance photos of a naked, pregnant and smoking Catherine Zeta-Jones show up on the Internet.

April 25th: Charlton Heston, suffering from Alzheimer's, steps down as head of the National Rifle Association.

April 26th: Jamie Foxx and his sister are arrested at a New Orleans casino after Foxx refuses to show I-D to security.

April 29th: It's revealed that Jack Osbourne has checked into rehab.



MAY 2003


May 2nd: People magazine names Halle Berry the world's most beautiful person.

May 7th: Oprah Winfrey decides to keep doing her talk show at least until 2008.

May 7th: Roger Moore collapses on a Broadway stage. The 75-year-old actor, one of those who played "James Bond" in the movies, gets a pacemaker.

May 7th: William Shatner's ex-wife sues him over horse semen! (The frozen semen in question would be used for breeding.)

May 10th: Director Steven Soderbergh marries celebrity interviewer Jules Asner.

May 12th: Ray Romano becomes the highest-paid performer on television, signing a deal for 50-million dollars to do what may be his last season on Everybody Loves Raymond.

May 13th: Tommy Chong pleads guilty to selling bongs on the Internet. He'll end up the year in prison.

May 13th: Dennis Rodman marries Michelle Moyer on his 42nd birthday.

May 14th: Robert Stack, star of The Untouchables T-V series, dies at age 84.

May 14th: A forklift operator for the British printing plant churning out the fifth Harry Potter book pleads guilty to stealing pages and trying to sell them to a tabloid.

May 14th: Halle Berry breaks her arm on the set of Gothika.

May 15th: Tom Sizemore is charged with beating and harassing his ex-fiancee Heidi Fleiss.

May 21st: Michael Jackson is hospitalized in Indianapolis for dehydration--he's there to give testimony in a lawsuit.

May 27th: Perhaps to prove that he doesn't wear a toupee, Ben Affleck signs up to shill for L'Oreal shampoo -- but only in Europe.

May 29th: Bob Hope turns 100.



JUNE 2003


June 3rd: Martha Stewart's media empire releases a statement saying that the U-S Attorney's Office "intends to request the grand jury to return an indictment against her in the near future."

June 3rd: Maxim magazine reports that Gwyneth Paltrow, Sarah Jessica Parker, Tyra Banks, Christy Turlington and "Bachelorette" Trista Rehn go for Mohawk-style bikini waxes.

June 3rd: Courtney Love says her ex Edward Norton will never marry his fiancee Salma Hayek. Love, for once, is right.

June 5th: Martha Stewart steps down as head of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia.

June 5th: Spike Lee sues Viacom for trying to change the name of T-N-N to Spike T-V.

June 5th: Actor-director Vincent Gallo puts "an unremovable black magic curse" on critic Roger Ebert's prostate to get back at him for a review of Gallo's The Brown Bunny. Ebert's cancer returns a few weeks later -- but not of his prostate.

June 6th: Tom Sizemore pleads not guilty to beating up and harassing Heidi Fleiss.

June 7th: Christy Turlington and Edward Burns finally get married.

June 9th: Martha Stewart strikes a pose -- for her mugshot.

June 10th: Joan Lunden, who is 52 years old, gives birth to twins.

June 11th: Acting legend Gregory Peck dies at the age of 87.

June 11th: T-V news legend David Brinkley dies at the age of 82.

June 18th: H-B-O decides there will be a sixth season of The Sopranos.

June 19th: Jennifer Aniston tops Forbes magazine's annual Celebrity 100 power list.

June 21st: Mike Tyson gets into a brawl at a New York City hotel.

June 22nd: Adam Sandler marries longtime girlfriend Jackie Titone.

June 25th: People magazines dubs Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston Hollywood's hottest celebrity couple.

June 29th: Four-time Academy Award winner Katharine Hepburn dies at the age of 96.

June 30th: Roly-poly comic Buddy Hackett dies at the age of 79.



JULY 2003


July 4th: Arnold Schwarzenegger, still a movie star, not yet a politician, visits troops in Iraq.

July 4th: Kobe Bryant is arrested on rape charges in Colorado.

July 6th: Buddy Ebsen, The Beverly Hillbillies' "Jed Clampett," dies at the age of 95.

July 6th: Word gets out that Sharon Stone and newspaper editor husband Phil Bronstein have filed for divorce.

July 7th: Spike Lee and Viacom settle their lawsuit, and T-N-N becomes Spike T-V.

July 8th: Peter Jennings, the Canadian news anchor, announces he's become an American citizen.

July 11th: Jamie-Lynn Sigler ("Meadow Soprano") marries former manager A-J Discala and changes her professional name to Jamie-Lynn Discala.

July 16th: Cameron Diaz sues photographer John Rutter, who took some pre-stardom topless photos of her, claiming that he is attempting to extort her.

July 17th: Ben Affleck whoops it up at a Vancouver strip club. Jennifer Lopez is not amused.

July 18th: Kobe Bryant is charged with sexual assualt in Eagle, Colorado.

July 20th: Jackass Steve-O is arrested for urinating in front of a crowd of autograph seekers at the Lollapalooza festival in western Pennsylvania.

July 21st: Russell Crowe announces he's going to be a dad.

July 24th: Although Friends is going, N-B-C announces that Matt LeBlanc is staying -- he'll star next season in the spin-off Joey.

July 25th: V-H-1 declares Oprah Winfrey the Greatest Pop Culture Icon.

July 27th: They said it wouldn't last--and they were right! Liza Minnelli and David Gest announce their marriage is kaput after a year.

July 27th: Less than two months after he turned 100, Bob Hope dies of pneumonia.

July 30th: America gets bombed -- Gigli, the first Ben Affleck-Jennifer Lopez movie, opens.

July 30th: It's announced that Mikhail Baryshnikov has joined the cast for the final season of Sex and the City.



AUGUST 2003


August 1st: Mike Tyson files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.

August 4th: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt announces that he's running for governor of California, calling himself a "smut peddler who cares."

August 5th: Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany, who co-starred in A Beautiful Mind and married in late 2002, have a son.

August 6th: Arnold Schwarzenegger goes on the Tonight Show to announce he's running for governor of California.

August 6th: Jerry Springer announces that he's not running for the U-S Senate from Ohio.

August 9th: Actor-dancer Gregory Hines dies of cancer at the age of 57.

August 10th: Geraldo Rivera, 60, marries 28-year-old Erica Levy -- it's her first marriage, his fifth.

August 11th: New York magazine reports that a homemade porno film starring Paris Hilton could be hitting the Internet.

August 11th: FOX News sues Al Franken for subtitling his book Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them "A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right." The case is eventually thrown out.

August 11th: Brad Garrett and Patricia Heaton boycott the beginning of production of this season's Everybody Loves Raymond demanding raises. They get their raises.

August 12th: The Anti-Defamation League issues a statement saying Mel Gibson's forthcoming movie, The Passion of Christ, "will fuel hatred, bigotry and anti-Semitism."

August 14th: The Queer Eye for the Straight Guy "Fab Five" give Jay Leno a makeover.

August 15th: Tom Sizemore is found guilty of beating and harassing his ex-fiancee, Heidi Fleiss.

August 23rd: Julianne Moore and director Bart Freundlich legitimize their kids and get married.

August 28th: Word gets out that the Uma Thurman - Ethan Hawke wedding is on the rocks over his womanizing.

August 30th: Death Wish star Charles Bronson dies at the age of 81.



SEPTEMBER 2003


September 1st: Private Jessica Lynch gets a million bucks to write her autobiography.

September 1st: Word leaks out that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez will absolutely, positively get married on September 14th in Santa Barbara.

September 1st: Adolf Hitler's favorite filmmaker, Leni Riefenstahl, dies in Germany at the age of 101.

September 4th: Tour de France king Lance Armstrong and his wife Kristin announce they're divorcing.

September 5th: David Blaine climbs into a plastic box overlooking London's Thames River, where he'll hang for 44 days.

September 10th: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez announce that their weekend wedding is off.

September 11th: John Ritter, 54, collapses and dies on the set of 8 Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter.

September 20th: Will & Grace star Megan Mullaly marries longtime boyfriend Nick Offerman.

September 21st: David Letterman chases a bear out of the kitchen of his Montana hideaway.

September 21st: Everybody Loves Raymond and The West Wing are the big winners at the Emmy Awards.

September 22nd: L-A police decide that Lana Clarkson, the woman who turned up dead of gunshots at Phil Spector's house back in February, was murdered.

September 22nd: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez apply for a license in Georgia -- a gun license. Ben wants to go hunting.

September 25th: Author-publisher-adventurer George Plimpton dies at his home in New York at the age of 76.

September 27th: Hollywood song-and-dance man Donald O'Connor dies at the age of 78.

September 28th: Legendary film director Elia Kazan (On the Waterfront, Streetcar Named Desire) dies at the age of 94.



OCTOBER 2003


October 1st: Halle Berry and her second husband, R-&-B singer and confessed sex addict Eric Benet, announce that they've separated.

October 1st: Selma Blair and Ahmet Zappa announce their engagement.

October 2nd: After the L-A Times reports that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped at least six women on film sets over the years, the California gubernatorial candidate fesses up, saying he did things he "thought were playful. But now I recognize that I have offended people."

October 2nd: People magazine reports that Nicole Kidman and Lenny Kravitz have "come clean" about their relationship.

October 2nd: Courtney Love is hospitalized in L-A for a suspected drug overdose, hours after being arrested for breaking four windows of an ex-boyfriend's house.

October 3rd: White tiger Montecore mauls brunette magician Roy Horn (of Siegfried and Roy) onstage in Las Vegas.

October 4th: Director Tim Burton and actress Helena Bonham Carter have their first child, a boy.

October 4th: Ashton Kutcher takes Demi Moore to Iowa to meet his mom. Demi is about the same age as mom.

October 9th: Tommy Chong goes to jail for selling bongs.

October 11th: Boston boy Ben Affleck and Bronx girl Jennifer Lopez take in the Red Sox-Yankees playoff game at Fenway Park.

October 14th: Conan O'Brien gets a new sidekick -- his first child, a girl he and wife Liza Powel name Neve.

October 19th: Magician David Blaine departs a plastic box hanging over London after 44 days of no food, except for the eggs people threw at him.

October 19th: Dennis Rodman rebounds a motorcycle off a Las Vegas telephone poll, landing him in jail on a D-U-I charge.

October 20th: Robert De Niro discloses that he's suffering from prostate cancer. His chances of a full recovery are excellent.

October 20th: London's Daily Mirror reports that Princess Diana once predicted she'd be killed by a planned "accident in my car," to clear the way for Prince Charles to remarry.

October 21st: David Gest sues Liza Minnelli for allegedly beating him up.

October 23rd: Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe have their second child, a boy they name Deacon.

October 27th: Tom Sizemore is sentenced to six months in jail for beating ex-girlfriend Heidi Fleiss.

October 28th: Courtney Love turns herself in to L-A police to face drug possession charges.

October 30th: Rosie O'Donnell's legal battle with Rosie publisher Gruner and Jahr kicks off in New York.



NOVEMBER 2003


November 3rd: Harry Joseph Letterman, the first child of David Letterman and Regina Lasko, is born.

November 3rd: Montel Williams is busted for pot at the Detroit airport.

November 4th: C-B-S bows to conservative pressure and impeaches its mini-series The Reagans.

November 5th: The Rosie O'Donnell trial adjourns after a cancer survivor who is testifying breaks down and says Rosie called her a liar then told her that liars "get sick and they get cancer."

November 5th: Paris Hilton's homemade porn tape starts making the rounds of the Internet.

November 9th: Art Carney, The Honeymooners' beloved sewer worker "Ed Norton," dies at the age of 85.

November 10th: Christian Slater's wife clocks him in the head with a glass -- sending him to the hospital and her to jail.

November 12th: A judge declares no winner in the Rosie O'Donnell lawsuit.

November 11th: Larry Flynt says Hustler won't publish topless photos he has of Private Jessica Lynch.

November 12th: It's confirmed that Billy Crudup has dumped his pregnant girlfriend Mary-Louise Parker.

November 17th: Arnold Schwarzenegger is sworn in as California's 38th governor.

November 18th: Inadvertent porn star Paris Hilton issues a statement saying she's "embarrassed and humiliated."

November 19th: An arrest warrant is issued for Michael Jackson on charges of child molestation, following a raid on his Neverland ranch.

November 19th: Johnny Depp is named "Sexiest Man Alive" by People magazine.

November 20th: Michael Jackson turns himself in and is booked on child molestation charges.

November 20th: Producer Phil Spector is charged with murder in the February shooting death of Lana Clarkson.

November 22nd: Carmen Electra and Jane's Addiction guitarist Dave Navarro tie the knot in Las Vegas.


DECEMBER 2003:

December 13th: Dictator Saddam Hussein is caputured in a hole in a farm shed near his hometown of Tikrit, Iraq.








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blech
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realistic optimist wtf this is all bs celeb news.
like those bs celeb news shows that dish out celeb gossip. what could be more empty?
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oldephebe yep..it's a chronicle of the tapestry that unites us all..peurile pop culture..i pasted it w/o reading it..right then..an indice of the indefagitable engines that assist a nation of voyeurs in recreating..here it comes..that nasty word again..objective reality..so..that's the cache, the crux and the creaking crib..in the land of post modern Blah..hey man..reliable knowledge comes from the hydra head media outlets perpetuation and promotion of those fictive instantiations of our deeply cherished dream fountains..a slowly narcotizing petrification..as we sigh wistfully..i want a life just lak the one ah see pasted on the TV..this is what governs the avid voyeurs enrgies and attentions..blech 040113
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oE for serious consumers of news - check out a site called Project Censored..it's got a ".org" suffix 040114
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bandersnatch "check out a site called Project Censored..it's got a ".org" suffix "

§ would it be www.projectcensored.org perhaps? §
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unhinged January 2003:

she begins an about three month long stretch of not talking to one of her best friends because she started dating a ghetto eastside drug dealer that followed both of them home from dennys along with a couple other of his boys in december on the principle that if she doesn't have anything nice to say she won't say it at all. it wasn't so much him or the fact that he carried a gun around with him everywhere but the other people, the crackheads, the cynics, all those people that should have been in the methadone clinics, that could have decided to shoot her in the head. her stress level was too high to worry about a completely avoidable situation.

he left for boston, leaving her bach_goddess alone and maybe they would be friends again.

it was a cold cold january and she had 8am conducting class; sometimes it was too cold to walk the short distance to class. really it was, especially when the sun had only been up for 20 minutes if she was lucky. sometimes her bach_goddess would call on the way to class and stop and pick her up when it was really cold.

she spent a lot of time getting her grad school audition together. the light at the end of the tunnel couldn't be close enough.

because her and her bach_goddess had almost all of their classes together except for her bach_goddess's theory class, they spent a lot of time getting_high together. they probably made it worse on each other as far as that went but it gave her an excuse to be close to her at all times.

she started practicing the brahms first violin sonata with her accompaniast for her recital. three times a week. sometimes her bach_goddess turned pages for him when she could. and afterwards they would go drive around the northside and get high.

her violin teacher decided that she was going to be the concertmaster for madama_butterfly instead of him because her teacher thought her style was better suited for post-romantic opera. so he was concertmaster of chamber orchestra. they all decided it in his studio with nods of heads.

February 2003:

much more of the same; avoidance, getting_high , spending all her days umbilically attached to her bach_goddess. she might as well have been her girlfriend even though her bach_goddess showed no signs of breaking up with her asshole boyfriend in boston. she bought her food when she was hungry, put gas in her car, packed the pipe when she was low, even gave her nugs to take home when she didn't have any and wanted to get high at night. they were together. even if her bach_goddess didn't want to admit it.

her violin teacher told her that he was going to be a bitch about the opera. that he was showing up to all of the rehearsals to learn the music (more like to make eyes at his new girlfriend). she rehearsed with her accompanist for her senior recital during opera workshop rehearsal. she couldn't go to the rehearsals. they had new music to learn for warren every month. she had a grad school audition to get ready. he wasn't going to go to grad school for music, he was going to law school. in short, he had all kinds of time that she didn't. she had to learn music as it came up, prioritize, and she was more recently concerned with her grad school audition. only applied to one place, needed an assistantship, couldn't screw it up. more stress placed on her shoulders. she got more high. with her bach_goddess of course.

March 2003:

she went up to milwaukee at the beginning of her spring break for her audition. she had to play bach and bruch from memory....her flight left early and got to wisconsin even earlier with the change in time zone. she hadn't been this nervous in awhile. but she had been psyching herself out because this was REALLY important. she HAD to do well. period. she flopped. bad. she would have cried but everyone was nice and she was tired.

she made up with her friend: an im 'we should go out and get drunk sometime'
'yeah, we should'

she got back to school after spring break and the opera fiasco became worse and worse. he was demanding blind auditions (as if our teacher didn't know how we played with out seeing us after four years) for this concertmaster spot even though when he was all self-assured about being concertmaster of symphony in the fall he demanded nothing. she wanted to choke him, punch him, put him in the hospital but she needed a ride to work.

she did oxys . since she was always stoned at this point, it was hard to tell at first. but when she was sitting in perkins at 2am she realized how high she was. and she looked at herself in the mirror and couldn't find out where she had gone. she wasn't there; she was missing. she went to bed that night and woke up in the middle of the night itching to tear her skin off. but supposedly when you chewed oxys and destroyed the time release in the pill when you came down it made you itch like crazy. it would have been so much easier to chew up some more than itch it out. but she didn't have anymore. that was probably by his design. the next day she was horribly strung out and just wanted some more, but clung to her promise that she would never do it again. she slept through her test the day after.

her and her bach_goddess went to see the vagina_monologues together:
fragmentary_romantic_scenarios
she got really drunk at the bar that night and they had been smoking all day. on the way home, she told her bach_goddess that she was in love with her. and that she wanted her. and for about two weeks afterwards ( the_standard_period_of_avoidance ) things were awkward. they still hung out everyday, but being alone together was at times horribly strained. they were determined to have things the same, but once something like that happens, once someone admits how in love with you they are, things are never the same. she got really depressed; being so close to her everyday but knowing it wasn't close enough made her too sad. she started carving again. it was always to carve someone out of her heart.

a standard evening of drug use turned into a cosmic interference when she randomly ran into him at the bar. she hadn't seen him in a year and a half. they had been pretty good friends back in the day even if it was only reefer_friends. he talked to her all night, held her hand. at one point, he let_go to get another drink and she grabbed her right wrist and the triangle scabs. maybe he could get her to go away faster. he took her out to his car and put her number in his phone. she waited for a week for him to call.

April 2003:

god the end was close. only about one more month and she would be gone forever. but the stress acumulated in bad places.

he called. he came to get her. he told her he wanted to start his life over again with her. her head swam. and they were soon together everyday or at least every night. sleeping on the couch in his parents' house. mostly. they worked through the paranoid_schizoprhenia he had from all the crystal_meth he did out in vegas. they worked through their depression together. and she was mostly happy. way more happy than she had been.
see: sam

the production week for madama_butterfly came around. slowly, things were being knocked off the list. even though she had wanted to leave almost as soon as she had come four years ago, she had a habit of clinging and her heart became heavy with the thought of leaving them all behind. especially with her new found love.

they went to go visit him and the door was unlocked and the lights were on and no one was there. something bad had happened. she knew it. she called someone who might have seen him; they said he was okay. she ended up in the hospital that night. the stress, the weed, one big anxiety attack. but it was all almost over.
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u24 wow, 'phebe. I read all that. I only just learned that Paris Hilton isn't a hotel. 040114
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oldephebe heh heh u24..you are being ironic right?

oops almost typed the wrong name/sobriquet unhinged..damn..i don't have the words to address the devasting tableau you've just rendered..color me blown away and slightly awed..

later..
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u24 I don't see how that could be classed as irony, no matter how I intended it, but for clarification, I was being serious.

that sounds a lot more blunt than I mean.
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oE Oh. 040114
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oldephebe okay more than just slightly awed..kinda like a platonic infactuation sorta thing..you're really somethin' girl..do you know that? 040114
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. . 040114
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. . 040114
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. test 040114
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. test 040114
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. test 040114
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oE okay so maybe i'm more than just a little awed..unhinged - i am sure that our essences have bumped into one another on some other plane of existence..you're a libran right? musician, writer, poetic, surging seas cauldron and chaos fed..vying vortex's within and all that..call a kind of platonic infactuation..you are amazing girl..you know that? 040114
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oE unhinged - i am sure that our essences have collided with one another on some other plane of existence..you're a libran right? musician, writer, poetic..governed by surging seas cauldren fed and chaos born..vying vortex's cracking the vessel and all that..you're amazing unhinged... 040114
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unhinged may 2003:

in less than two weeks she was moving away for the last time. and everything she did in the interim was tinged with the last time. she was struggling with getting everything tied up. she had another anxiety attack but knew better than to go back to the hospital. the campus doctor tried to put her on zoloft. she gave it back. she had actually seriously considered it; opened up the box and started to read the pamphlet. for so long she had been a crusader against anti-anxiety/depressant medication, for so long she had tried every other method available - cutting, sleeping, getting_high and obviously none of that had worked. between the suicide scares, and dull eyes, and the final hospitalization, obviously none of that had worked. and then she got to the side effects; anxiety, sexual impotence, drowsiness....ANXIETY. what the fuck. yeah, didn't need any more of that. she gave the zoloft back to the doctor.

the last week and a half were the hardest because she didn't want it anymore. she wanted it to be over. the work wasn't worth it. she just wanted to be with him. he was the only thing that made her happy. but somehow she wrote her honors paper for anthro, did her conducting final, took the multiple choice test. her last night in youngstown she spent with him at the house of two people in his new band. she knew the viola player from her freshman year because she had gone to ysu for music too but dropped out the next year. she had two violas hanging around the house. they jammed. 'if i would have known there were cool people like you at ysu, i would have never quit' it was a rather serendipitous ending to a wide arcing circle. they went to his house and slept. he dropped her off the next day. it was a struggle for her to hold in the tears. he looked like he was going to cry and she kissed him goodbye in the driveway for the last time and it was probably the best kiss of all. her bach_goddess came and picked her up for the last time because she had a gift for her. a pretty silver and marcasite flower bracelet for playing her recital with her. plans fell through and they decided to drive around their neighborhood on the northside and get high one last time for last time's sake. one more meal at ghetto bell for last time's sake. and she got dropped off for the second time that day and she couldn't stop it; she choked on goodbye and her hands shook as she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes before her bach_goddess saw them. but it was too late. she was too upset to kiss her goodbye like she wanted to. she got out of the car and went upstairs to wait for her parents to come and move her out. she handed in her keys for the last time.

it was hard for her to get used to sleeping without him. she would wake up in the middle of the night to like_a_stone on the radio and cry. she got ready to move to wisconsin. she started to get afraid of moving so far away.

she went to her cousin's house to animal sit for a few days. he came and spent some of them with her. being apart for two weeks was like two years. unexpected things happened and he left without kissing her goodbye.

they went to what would be the last ivet show she would ever hear at the scene pavilion downtown. between the trains and the traffic and the barge they almost missed it.
speaking_of_fucking_satan
it was a night of mixed emotions. he called her the next day and almost broke up with her cause she went to the show.

june 2003:

the day was getting nearer. she was sorting through her stuff at her parents' house deciding what was important to take. she stopped calling him for a few days after he tried to break up with her for fraternizing with his old bandmates but she couldn't even last for a week. 'so you were pissed at me huh?'

she ended up in youngstown unexpectedly. they were all in the same room together. it was friday_the_thirteenth . enough said. he took her home to her parents' house the next day and dropped her off on the corner because he was afraid to meet her parents. she laughed at him and kissed him for the last time.

she moved to wisconsin. kind of. she went up for the chamber music festival. she called him on his birthday and wished she was with him instead of where she was. it was the last time she heard his voice for over a month.
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yeah, i'm a libra. thanks for words pheb. they made me smile and i've been a little down lately. email sometime k? i'd like to chat.
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unhinged july 2003:

beethoven. beethoven. beethoven. stupid little arguments turn into broken hearts. empty tears on empty benches. she knows he's staring at his phone not picking up leaving all the pieces so far away to pick up themselves.

'she doesn't like me because i'm prettier than her.' melting by the lake, signing leases, beethoven.

'what we did was unfair. it was unfair for her. it was unfair for you.'

'how was it unfair for me? i'm used to it.' staring at the spinning dryer, kicking the washer she is sitting on.

'you shouldn't be used to it. you like to make yourself the victim.' he grabs her wrist. 'like that. what's that?'

kicking the washer. 'i have to go upstairs. i forgot something upstairs.' anger spinning around in the dryer.

no more beethoven. lonely little box of an apartment. 'oh....it's you'

august 2003:

waiting for school to start. she's trying to erase him out of her head. she can't sleep at night in her own sweat. days_pass_like_months in a new place alone far away from home.
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