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midnight_walks
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squint
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i go for midnight walks
because sunlight is too truthful and I like the mystique of street lights and lack thereof in the school grounds (elem. skool by my house, many-a-building and playground to explore)...I talk to someone that only I can talk to, and we make 3 shadows. they all wave hello, I laugh to myself, and i play hopscotch. then i run around the track a few times and go on the swings in the pleasant solitude that night offers me.
i star_gaze, I shiver
and i play alice_in_wonderland
with myself.
not that any of you would know what I'm referring to.
but its chill.
i swim in the pools of dirty light
and i make sure to wear a skirt
so i can twirl like i did when i was little.
and it doesnt matter when i'm on the swings because noone is around anyway.
and I like dancing in the moonlight by myself.
i am the star.
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020604
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birdmad
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shambling and shuffling around the alleys and the railroad tracks in this ghetto, aquî en mi barrio
step over by the bakery and smell the night crew baking bread
step over to the freeway and watch the headlights run like a river of light
slither back home into cool darkness and search the expanse of space on the back of my eyelids for sleep
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020604
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josie
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is it a fuuny coinkidink that i've been brought here the night i happened to discuss the random evening we had --running from bats and taxi's. Like a nightmare now, i see the harbour shivering with shimmering colours all neatly lined up in a row. Their voices enjoying the humour in it now because it all seems like i've taken these midnight_walks on my own all along.
I have the photos to prove it.
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020605
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blue star
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we all took a midnight walk.
jessi and I promenaded through kristin's neighborhood.
Kristin tried to keep everyone moving.
Christy and Nicole stopped frequently to light up their weed.
And Kathryn and Steven Methias... well...
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020605
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angie
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dude really? did they mess around? that is crazy/cool! I kinda wanted something to happen with them. i dont know why.
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020608
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frAnk
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this is one of blather's shining moments. nice work.
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020609
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Kate
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In my dream we went for a midnight walk in the park between my house and school. The grass was wet against the soles of our feet and the air smelled like mountains. Our feet tingled at the touch of the cool rocky ledge where we sat and gazed at the woods below and at the stars and at each other. You wore that shirt and I wore that dress and you kissed me like nothing had ever happened. We walked hand in hand along the trails I knew so well and slept, curled together in a mass of ferns. We awoke with the dew and the dream went away.
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020609
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onemorebumpintheroad
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we took midnight walks through the ghetto jungles. at times like those it was like we were the only two people that existed. we'd laugh at your dog when she did crazy, silly things, and she'd grin at us. life was complicated before we even had time to appreciate the simplicity. and now i'm awake at night, alone, screaming at God or some vague other power. asking why. cursing him for taking unaffected and pure beauty that surrounded us. i cannot look at one object throughout my day that doesn't somehow remind me of you. i drove all the way to baltimore yesterday to try and escape this feeling, and on the way we stopped at a rest stop. i saw a big boy, and couldn't figure out why i thought of you. the connection was dim. then i saw the statue and thought of austin powers. i thought of our innocent laughter, i thought of priceless moments that could never quite be valued at the time that we had them. nothing is ever truly treasure until it is taken from us. i cry at night because i have hope that you can forgive me, but i realize that that hope is misleading and not to be fulfilled. we had a life. i finally saw something that i could love for eternity, and I let it slip away. no more midnight walks. no more laying wrapped in each other on your couch, watching stupid movies. no more pancakes, pancakes, marty. you walk away still loving me, but you have the strength to push it away. i am not that strong. if i thought it would make the difference, i would beg, i would sell my soul for one more chance. i have never been so in love, so lost in a feeling. and now it seems that that very same love, that same wonderful feeling, will be the thing that keeps me awake at night....driving me insane. if you never have something to lose, how can you know what you're missing? i had it. i had it, and i let it go because i wanted to make you proud. i wanted to show you that i was strong enough to do this thing without constantly needing your shoulder, without crying, without feeling. i wasn't, and i couldn't lie anymore. part of it was the drugs, and part of it was just breaking down. i'm sorry. i'm sorry i humiliated you in front of your friends, i'm sorry i couldn't hold it back, i'm sorry that i didn't think and took those shrooms. no drug will ever be worth losing you. and i meant it when i said that i would quit anything mindaltering, never touch it again if it would bring you back. but i saw that look in your eyes. you had already made up your mind. we are over. too late for apologies or promises, apparently. that decided look in your eyes will be with me always. regret is a wasted emotion, but i will never stop regretting this. i know you love me, but we'll never make love again. i won't be allowed to say it anymore. you kissed my forhead and said, i love you, and my heart died. such a sweet goodbye, but it was goodbye. please, no matter how weak it makes me, or how it may disgust you, i am Begging for your forgiveness, your continued love. two people never felt the way that we do, were never so in love, and i'm so sorry that i ruined it. even if it takes forever, try to forgive me. try to someday find it in your heart to give us one more chance. i can't stop hoping no matter how foolish it makes me.
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020611
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onemorebumpintheroad
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so we resume our midnight walks, only now they hold even more magic. you have admitted to the unbelievable [in your case anyways], you need me. you have never needed anyone. you didn't even need your mother. such an independent child, and you are so used to it. i was surprised that you would even admit to something which gives you such fear. it seems you are feeling all sorts of new things with me. fear, need, unconditional love. and that's what makes all of this possible, isn't it? i showed you that there is a such thing as unconditional love. i never even expected it back, i just wanted you to believe. and now you believe and i have that same love from you. we are beautiful and strong together. we are a song that is only heard in Heaven. thank you for being my rock once again. i love you.
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020620
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crazy birds sometimes fall to pieces
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"i go walkin'
after midnight
thinking of you"
-- patsy cline
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020620
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jane
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this is how i met byron
which is how savannah got stoned and i ended up not talking to her for 3 months
man, i miss byron
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020621
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squint
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going on a midnight walk
and the world will fade to black,
the night will wrap around
the beam of my flashlight,
swallowing honesty in pure
calm gulps of navy.
the song of the night
will consume my sting
and tug my further into surrender
until I stand alone
with what is purely me
stripped of inhibitions
i will dance with the shadows
that rule me
after midnight.
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020718
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kerry
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pretty
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020718
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werewolf
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i walk in the night, and wonder how many times someone else has passed my house when i was inside, and if they looked in and through me with the same mixture of empathy and lonliness i looked in and through them. i take whatever type of steps i feel like, inappropriately bounding or sprinting; swinging in steps from streetlight to streetlight, radiuses of the known fading at their edges where the possibilities wait. the ends of the earth where the sea monsters and cannibals dwell. just like the edge of town, or the walk you've never taken. it's just a different way of looking at the same town. a prison or a point of departure. you wonder about what's flickering in front of someone's eyes that is so treasured and secret that they had to have the blinds down, that they had to shut out all of the permutations of the shadows (one of which is now me, imploringly eyeing the dreams that they've sublimated to lawn ornaments or additions) that devour their houses while they run their lights, cold comforts helping them forget how real and vast the night is, how it can unmoor all of the stability they think they've worked for, but have really been allowed. in the day suburbia is easy to tame, because all one must do is tame themselves. but at night, you cannot see the roads that were laid down, often by the time you know where you are it is too late. at night purpose and accident are not so clear, and we surrender to a blindness we can ignore in the day, when our vision draws our attention away from how lost we are. because we can see the roads we think that surely we are not mistepping, when in truth, there are shadows just as menacing or promising in the full light of the sun. sometimes i go up to the children's playground. sometimes i'll lie in the wet grass where moisture and moon made love and i'll wait untill i feel it bleed through my hooded sweatshirt, untill i can feel my boundries repel and invite. my eyes widen and invite full moons. my mind savors the ripe implications the word midnight has from fairy tales and horror movies i used to sneak out of my room to see. the way i used to wait for my dad to come home from work and go to bed, knowing then i could finish watching. it seemed a pact between me and my father that only i knew about. and once i heard him snoring, once i checked the clock and saw a crisp midnight 12:00, i knew i could hear more of bela lugosi's unsettling poetry. words like music and night and children and wine all with such lilting inflection. it brought the night to them. all of these midnights are in me as i lie there and feel the sky spinning slow. i go swing on the swings and i push higher than i ever did when i felt others watching me or warning me. there is no one to warn me. the only thing restraining me is myself. is the edge of the woods the playground rests in. i stand at the edge untill it is what i imagine and not what i have seen in a thousand daylight walks that sends me home frantic in a way that no one could outwardly surmise. my walk is calm but it is powerful. looking into all of that darkness, thinking about how it is always out there when i am in bed, when i go moderately away from all of the paths which are suddenly different at midnight, i am aware that there are places in me that i am not ready to traverse, there are tangles which cannot be lit, which must forever be distant, a turning that happens when i'm sleeping, promises i don't know i'm keeping. the other half of the world. the changes that seemed a rich teeming blink. which if drawn attention to, can overwhelm us. these are the promises of the night. i'll forever want a girl like the night, i'll forever want a spooky girl who makes me walk like frankenstein lamenting with unpracticed anger some aspect of my creation, in a way that to others, from afar must seem comical. this is my midnight walk. and having been both near and far to it, i've seen both its awkward lunges and graceful embraces. the darkness eases the two together. and soon i am sleeping.
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020719
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ice
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a midnight walk is probably one of the best things in life especially if it rained in the evening then there are a lot more stars
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040124
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ice
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makes me feel lonely
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040124
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