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jennifer
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Jolie explains to Becca how Mark died: "I remember, when I was little, if I couldn't sleep, I would sneak over to his house, and crawl into bed with him. I would listen to his heartbeat, and fall so fast asleep. It was such a large organ, so loud, and I just lost myself in it. We stayed that close, and we got even closer when he came out to me. I loved him so much for sharing an intimate part of his life with me. But his family just didn't see things the way I did. I saw it as a beautiful thing, and they…. By the end of his life he was telling me a lot about how they handled it. How his mother, in particular, handled it. He said he just couldn't handle the repulsion he saw in his mother's eyes. In all of his family's eyes. The hatred, the fear. When he told his family that he was gay, they just… they…. I guess they just forgot he was a real person. And he couldn't take it anymore. He dealt with that… eating him away for two years, and by the time he was a sophomore in college he was just a hollow shell of his former self. His eyes… I remember that… his eyes were so hollow… so…. dead. He just wasn't…. Binkie. I honestly think he died when he told his mom, and it was just a weird technicality that his body lasted as long as it did. But he wanted to jump out the window. Eleventh floor… that'll make a nice mess to clean up when you hit the quad. But he didn't have the guts to do it. He didn't have the balls. So he downed a bottle of Percodan and a Jim Beam chaser, and before he even got to the window, his heart stopped. Just stopped. I found that so hard to believe. That a muscle that large, and that comforting to me would just stop. I never understood why it couldn't have held out, just a little while longer."
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991209
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