hey_thy


	hey_thy
unhinged	i am glad to see you again around here. today is a rough day. it is the anniversary of the day my scar_garden came damn close to overwhelming me; it is the day after i have begun parting_ways around here. my heart and my tummy are squeamish with it. so i am going to see my tattoo artist to get one last dose of new_ink to commemorate my life. but this is a happy one; the first one to be a happy one. we all leave for one reason or another (admittedly me not as long as others) and we all come back eventually for one reason or another. it's like a metaphor or something for cycles, circles, tides.	110628
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thy	im sorry to hear that unhinged. new_ink sounds cool though life can be very cruel. its been my experience, when life is giving you gifts, it tends to tear other things away. like the universe is trying to say: hey! you cant have it all! atleast not the way that you would like it! so we all have to find a middle ground, like theres some balance it has to maintain between awesomeness and shit. ive been back on blather for about the last 2 months or so, reading much more than posting (i feel as though i could spend a lifetime on here just reading). ive run across alot of cool stuff from ya, the buddhism stuff (im not gonna go into that at the moment, not enough time, but i will say... i dunno? awesome!), and just plain out good wisdom_and_words but one of things i was most impressed with was what you said in blather_behind_the_scenes: blather is people. very very very true. tides, ebb_and_flow, high_tide_and_low_tide	110630
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unhinged	I'm glad you're back (not to mention your flattering words always manage to stroke my ego)	110630
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unhinged	btw I'm glad you like my buddhist words, but they were mostly just to sort out my thoughts on the topic I've given some thought recently to becoming a yoga or meditation teacher after I move	110630
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thy	hehe stroked. yeah sorry bout that, just kinda happened.	110701
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thy	minus that d. shakes head i cant blather worth a shit today.	110701
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unhinged	typos happen hey, we should make a blather bumper sticker that says that ;-)	110702
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thy	hahah hell yeah, nice unhinged, nice	110705
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unhinged	you know...typical blather color scheme with the dark blue background and 'typos happen' in periwinkle hey_lg that ones a shoutout to you too by the way ;-)	110706
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lostgirl	smiles to my friend unhinged....i miss you. welcome back to the blue_sky thy (have to say i am too new around here to have even known you'd gone missing, but i do enjoy your words)	110707
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thy	thanks! its been quite fun to return_to_the_bluniverse. ive enjoyed your words lostgirl, no differently than if youd been here for ages. notions of new and old in a place like this (is there any other place quite like blather?) are up to the individual, especially when you consider how fucked up the concept of time is here. hey_wow blather_is_a_trip ive been gone 10 years give or take (a long time, 'specially for blather) and the longer ive been back, the less its seems i was gone very long. like i got up and im just now returning from a really looong piss. im going to ramble on here for a bit (my name _is on the sign out front, thanks unhinged!) and say something thats been on my mind... i know it might just be me, but blather_is_fascinating ... and to me one (just one) of the most fascinating topics in_blather, is_blather. i think its because its a world unto itself, a world within a world; a mirror of itself, but also a window to anywhere youd like to look. so please forgive any po_mo blather leanings i may or may not exhibit. ive been trying to avoid it, but its just so unavoidable i cant help but notice in the above blathes by unhinged, happen is underlined, but happen' isnt, but 'typos is underlined, and when you click on 'typos it takes you to typos ? if that made any sense to anyone well im not intirely sure how to end this, so i will leave on this: the_way_to_screw_up_somebodys_life	110711
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unhinged	(for some reason if you put a ' on the left side of a word it will still link, but if you put it on the right side of the word it doesn't. that has irked me for years. i just get around it by putting a space between my lazy quote marks and the word. so if you're anal like me, that's how you make sure all your stuff gets linked ;-) maybe it has something to do with writing html or something. i know nothing about writing code and the days of having skites around that did have long passed)	110712
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peyton	.	110712
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thy	peyton: . right back at ya man unhinged: i have too many typos to be anal (wait for it, wait for it... NOW! hehehe) about my linking, i just noticed that, and i was all wtf? then i figured if i mentioned it, somebody would probably be able to explain it to me. and that somebody turned out to be you! thanks! do you (or anybody else) have any other little pieces of knowledge and_or advice about any strange blather_quirks (or anything else interesting) that i may not know about? just wondering. so how ya hanging in there unhinged? ive been reading your blathes, so i have an idea and all, but i thought id ask. my heart goes to ya you know big ol hugs	110714
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unhinged	thanks thy i'm ok. part of my problem yesterday definitely was my hormones; i won't get into the details but if you have sisters you know. the other part of my problem is leaving, ending, and changing in general have never been easy for me. i've been teaching violin for five years now and some of my students i've had for four to five years. some of them came to me back then when they were four or five years old so i've watched them grow up. even some of the students i've picked up in the past few months are difficult to leave. any child that has an affinity to the violin gets close to my heart. the tearful 'why are you leaving?'s aren't really helping either. the why of it is hard to explain to children. about a year and a half ago i started a really unhealthy relationship with a really unhealthy person. didn't blathe too too much about it cause i couldn't really and his paranoia infected me a little bit too, but it took me a long time to get disentangled. we tried to be 'friends' for almost a year after we broke up. people around here were yelling at me for making the same stupid mistake, my friends stopped talking to me, i was afraid to go home. he was really manipulative and abusive but because of my meditation classes i learned to see through his bullshit, but it was still really hard for me to walk_away. beyond rational logic ( brl ) i loved him. but i finally got to the point that even though i loved him, i realized i couldn't stick around for any more abuse. sigh and then i found tony. he is the exact opposite of my ex. he has been nothing but supportive of me since we started dating. well, he hasn't been supportive of me moving, but i don't blame him for that. i'm getting teary just now writing about it. i still have two weeks before i go. i should be trying to maximize every moment i have left. but i can't help but be sad about knowing that every morning i wake up next to him is closer to the last. my meditation classes haven't cured me of that. so once again my reply is a little more longwinded than i intended but you probably figured it would be. hehe how is your life these days? what brought you back here after so long? (i noticed yesterday that with your alias you've been a lurker around here for longer than i realized; i'm glad you are your blather self again)	110714
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thy	i wrote the blathe below a few days ago, i havent had a chance to blathe it until now. time has not been my friend lately. and yeah, i know that its weird that i wrote this a few days ago, and havent blathed it until now: im weird :) and yes, its i know weird i find it necessary to share the above information: see above. so anyway, get ready for some questionable spelling, punctuation, vocabulary, intelligence, and social skills! woooo! and...	110720
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thy	get ready for some long-winded-ness... smiles inhales here it goes... (im leaving alot out, but not really) im good, all things considered, im doing good. ive been better, and ive been worse, but thats life. im happy, not always of course; some days blow big baby chunks, some days rock my world. it seems to even out. im also doing good up here points to his noggin ; ive never felt better in my own head, so i feel pretty dang positive in that regard. im not particularly happy with my job, (it sucks) but a lot of people feel the same way. its a 'good job ', i just dont like it. gotta make a living. im working on my options. that being said, im still absolutely grateful to have a job, and to have the ability to work (even if my job makes it very hard for me to maintain that viewpoint). to leave the subject of work on a positive note, ive been building, if i may say so myself, a kick-ass resume, and in the end, im hoping thats gonna make my hard work, blood, sweat, and tears, worthwhile. there are bumps on the road of life, and thats ok. i came back... because i had things to say, and i thought they were worth saying, so i figured id say them. that and i just missed it. when i first started blathering, the first time around, i honestly never imagined that blather would be around this long, nor did it occur to me that everything would end up on google (this shows how dumb i was back then, considering google was how i found blather, duh) so this time around im trying to be more mindful of what i share. (if it seems like im being vague in my answers, its because i am) however, sometimes im purposefully 'mindless ', for_the_s's_and_the_g's, and on atleast one occasion, to see how many people were paying attention (more than i thought, but hey, that was the point) im sure ive already shared too much. im ok with that. i try to always make sure my hearts in the right place. to me, thats what counts. i thought id let you know unhinged, i found myself bursting into uncontrolable laughter in a crowded room when i read your line 'i get more satisfaction out of a long hard piss than i ever got out of you, you selfish prick ' in spilt_milk_blues. makes my piss analogies look like, well, crap. good good stuff (i didnt mind though, i get a kick out of appearing crazy in public.) the sad part is, there might be a woman or two that feels that way about me, and quite possibly, rightfully so. exhale inhale about your situation, reading your words brought this to mind, so heres some unsolicited words for you: impermanence_equals_suffering nothing is permanent, thus we all suffer to some degree. we suffer the most when we continually reach for that non-existant permanence, of which we will never obtain. live to live in the moment, for the moment, because its all we really have. live to find the joy in the moment, the smallest instant, because it is beautiful. the moment / a moment / this moment is the greatest gift anyone can ever have, because its ours / mine / yours; the past is gone, the future does not yet exist. i know this and i still forget it every day. i figure you might know this too, but maybe it helps to hear it from someone else. i dont proclaim to know that as truth, its just that my experience leads me to think there is more truth to it than untruth. i dont even know for sure if it applies to anything your experiencing. i just hope it helps (you or anyone). in the relationship department, girls have come, girls have gone. none of them were ment to be, and i cant complain. im currently single (i can hear the collective sarcastic gasp from the audience now, haha), actually glad to be (yes, i really mean this). for one thing, i consider myself a work in progress. for another, i look at a lot relationships i see and that i have have been in and think: id rather be alone and happy then be attached and not. im an only child, but im familiar with hormones. i was only lurking around for a week or two before i made my first blathe on this second run, so it hasnt been that long. before that, id usually stop by about once or twice or year, whenever i was feeling sentimental, just to read what blatherskites had blathed under blathes i blathed on (sometimes Blather feels like we're on The Smurfs). my last blathe was in 2002. i didnt blathe again until i went ducking_into_the_corners_of_a_name with sedrftzsxdc in may of this year. why was i gone so long? for one, i essentially had no words. ive written a little here, a little there, but very little really. another reason is that the time flew, it really doesnt seem as long as its been. one last reason was, how to put this... there was a big elephant in the room for me here at blather (maybe more than one), and for a long time i didnt know how to handle it, im still not sure i handled it well (my brain says probably not). but to ignore it... just didnt seem right. i just hope i didnt make things worse. exhale inhale when i first started blathering again, i really didnt know that i was going to return return. but it felt good, so i kept going, it felt good to let things out. i eventually decided, with a nudge or two, that i wanted to come back, and that now was as good of time as any. if your wondering why i compliment you (unhinged) so much, for one thing, you wrote on more than one occassion that you missed me 'round here, and i really appreciate that. talk about ego stroke. smirk another reason is, their are actually alot of people id like to compliment, but i dont want to seem like the ego_stroking king (ego_stro_king?). i dunno, lots of good stuff gets quietly dropped around here, and sometimes it looks almost as if its ignored, or invisible. this is one reason for a blathe like blather_is_fascinating. its just my way of showing appreciation to all the skites, because whoever you are here, even if it doesnt seem like it, your words matter. reciprocally. whether they might hurt a little, or they help more than you could have ever imagined; whether they sting just a bit, or they put the biggest smile on your face, or they bitch_slap you senseless, or they change your life forever: you / i / we all learn from it, to what ever degree, to some degree, every last one of us. and i think thats amazing. ive considered making a list, or contributing to some kind of list of favorite skites, (they seem to tend to ruffle feathers) but i like most of yall, far far far more than i dislike any of ya. nothing wrong with some longwinded-ness ;) thats cool that your a teacher, a very noble profession indeed. the fact your a musician is pretty awesome. violin music is so expressive and sounds so heartfelt. if your good, id bet your great :) (and im sure your good!) words_i_use_too_often turning_blue im glad to hear youve got a good man in your life, especially after your experience with the last guy. its been very nice indeed to converse with you again unhinged! its been too long i tell ya, too long! (and theirs no one to blame but me for that one) too long, much like this blathe. ok, almost done with this ultra-winded-ness. o_O about being my blather self again... im definitely the same person that once called himself Thyartshallshant, the kid that chose that name because it sounded smart and condidictory and because it stuck out on a page, so people would see me and id see myself. the kid that said things because he wanted to... and ya know, im still that guy... just a decade later. and better, i hope. one of my favorite blathes was / is, it's_funny. its not that its all that good; my favorite part about that blathe is that its not funny. smiles exhales	110720
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thy	and now the obligatory part where i correct some of my many mistakes... condidictory? haha. contradictory ego_stroke king spilled_milk_blues and i left the part out where one of the reasons i like it's_funny was because god said i was pretty cool. now thats an ego_stroke.	110720
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hey dumbass	You do know that wasn't really God, right?	110720
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thy	WHAT?!?! and i even started praying because of Him! err, him. well, i guess that explains why i never turned into one of Britney_Spears sex toys. come to think of it... i think i dodged the bullet on that one.	110720
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peyton	I'm glad you made it. I'm glad that I was kind.. it makes me wish I would have been kinder. I was just thinking the other day how your exuberance shines through text unlike anyone I think I've ever met. I hope you are still okay. I hope you don't bounce off the walls so much it breaks bones. I hope you are still you.	110720
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unhinged	as long as we are being longwinded with each_other ;-) spilled_milk_blues is actually a real song with me singing and my friend joseph playing guitar. if you want, i can email it to you. i used to record blues with several different guys from the the music store i work at, but they've both moved to the west coast and the owner stopped hiring people that cool. i do love teaching; sharing my knowledge with people and spending time with kids at the same time is a double bonus. close contact with preschool age kids has helped me keep my head above the water of my depression. i bet you remember that from back in the day...who could forget my melodramatic youngstown days around here? (there are still haters around here; i've mostly learned to ignore them) the reason that i'm buddhist is i suck at letting_go ; change has always been hard for me. the whole notion of impermanence is really comforting to me so thanks for reminding me. with so much ending right now, i got caught up in all of it. i got to hold a baby yesterday. he cuddled right up to me. baby cuddles are the best. i know what you mean about saying too much around here and not covering your googleable tracks. that is part of the reason why i didn't say much around here about my crazy ex and when i did it was in the vaguest terms possible. for as much as he hurt me, i learned a lot from our relationship. i think i finally learned the balance between taking care of myself and loving others. i'm just a little sad that it took me that much abuse to figure it out. maybe, it also helps now that i'm finally in a healthy loving relationship with a sane person. crazy shouldn't date crazy. but then again, i've also discovered that i'm not that crazy. get up early every morning with the boy cause he has to leave for work by 7am, but i'm gonna go back to sleep for a while before i have my morning coffee and pack some more. later gator	110721
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thy	peyton: thank you. just shortly before i started blathing again, i read a quote: 'If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it.' - Anais_Nin i think it affected me quite a bit (subliminally at first, and more consciously over time). (just dont hold me to it... the quote that is, or the shining exuberance in text for that matter) ive felt rather like a child that has found a favorite toy buried in his closet, tossed away with youthful carelessness. lost for years, lost for so long that he almost forgot it existed, almost forgot that he had once known of its fun. a little older now, better able to appreciate it... ...oh fuck, i cant really compare blather to anything, its incomparable. im not nearly as exuberant physically as i am mentally, in my own head; that is where i bounce off the walls. it took me a long time to disconnect the mental frenzy from physicality, or i would bounce off the walls. or worse. im not gonna say the world hasnt worn me down. work, people, injuries, time, hurt, and most of all, my own mistakes, have worn me down, kicked me around. but i do my best to not dwell on it. (but i also do my best to learn from those mistakes, otherwise i would be doomed to repeat them) worn down, yeah, a little. worn out, hell no! im still kickn ;) trust me. just mellowed. i appreciate your sentiments about wishing you had been kinder... me too, but... ah man, dont even get me started about wish_i_would_haves, if i let myself go down that road, i could spend lifetime on that subject alone, but man, i refuse. all i can say to that subject is that you cant change the past. whats done is done. that leaves us with the here_and_nows, working twords the futures. carpe_diem... take your wish_i_would_haves, learn from them, and turn them into doing_something_better. (im not telling you what to do as much as im trying to reaffirm to myself what i want to do) im glad i made it too. i understand that lots of people here may not know... but some people do. and nobody even knows the half of it. and for now, thats the way i plan on keeping it. im okay, i hope your okay. come to think if it, i hope your all okay smiles unhinged: you like the blues? thats fantastic! actually you took it a step further... you sing the blues! id love to hear it. so yeah, email_me_unhinged. (when you get the chance, im sure your busy with the move and all, hope thats going well by the way) yeah, i remember those days, i bet you remember mine too. 'There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.' - Ernest_Hemingway i havent started bleeding much, yet. but thats where some of the best (most interesting) stuff comes from (dark_art) imho, so im sure il go picking at the wounds from time to time. conscious_breathing breathe_in breathe_out trying not to do it with a cigarette hanging from my mouth. testing. testing. testing. neverending testing. im glad youve been able to work and do something that you love. its nice to hear that still happens. same goes for finding a good_boy. ok, gots to go ... oh you know i have to say it... im far too much of a cheeseball not to... after a while, crocodile :)	110727
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unhinged	downloaded a new browser for my phone and mobile_blather works again thanks. thanks thanks. I'm super glad I can blathe on my phone again	110824
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thy	sweet! glad i could help!	110826
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unhinged	text away	110918

what's it to you?	blather
who go	from