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joda
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My favourite mug lies broken in a thousand shards on the sidewalk.
I found this mug years ago - It was cheap, simple, adorable and reminded me of whimsical things. The picture on it was something a child would select, but I liked it anyway. It made me want to giggle. I adored it.
I took my mug outside, but I didn't expect as I held the door open, balancing my mug from my pinky, that it would fall. I had no intention of letting it be the first thing to drop, but when I had to choose, it was the least important. My fingers were just too weak to hold all those things at once, and despite the instant regret I felt, I let the mug go. Coffee and all.
As it fell in slow motion toward the cement, I watched it; I knew it would break, but I did nothing to stop it, even though I should have. The steaming liquid leaked from every crack, and eventually, the coffee froze there, in amongst the dirt and the sharp bits of glass I dare not reach for. I knew it would never fit back together; some of the scraps were just too random to place, without extending great effort. Part of me wanted to quickly scoop it up and save it from it's inevitable destruction before it hit the ground, but another part of me was sure I had spent enough time with this .88 cent mug, so considering all of the other things I was holding, which took priority, .88 cents was a small price to pay a mug that served it's purpose already. It was too late. Plus, I didn't want to risk cutting my fingers. Nothing is THAT important.
Guilt. Oh the fucking guilt. I realize now I should have treated it better.
Fragile, and precious, my mug would always let the coffee inside go cold, but I didn't mind, because I knew that I could just throw it into the microwave and reheat it, at my convenience. Perhaps I took my mug for granted. Perhaps I was careless. One thing I know: It was heavy, and I was tired.
I wasn't sure what to think of that mug. Why did it break so easily? Surely a stronger mug would be more resilient. Surely, a better mug would have held itself together. I said to myself when I found it, "What a DEAL!" Sometimes, I just don't think about quality before I select an object. I will from now on, that's for sure.
I found a new mug. It was quite expensive, but that doesn't matter. Sometimes, you just can't expect an inferior product to last. But THIS mug, oh this mug... It's made of shiny, polished, stainless steel. I've dropped it several times already. It gets a little scuffed around the lid, but it just bounces back with incredible finesse. It has proved to me many times that it won't break, regardless of how careless I am. I think it almost enjoys being dropped - I always have too many things to hold on to, and this mug just waits for me to pick it back up, after I've had time to put something else down. It knows I won't abandon it there, so I'm allowed to neglect it a little.
The only thing I don't like about this mug is that it can't go in the microwave, and even if it could, it wouldn't fit. I have to be sure I drink all the coffee, while it's still warm, otherwise, I have to throw it out, or fill it up with fresh coffee. I could transfer the coffee into another container, more suitable for the microwave, such as another ceramic mug... But what's the point? The coffee is boring in this mug. I realize I'm taking this new mug for granted too, but it seems to be doing ok, despite that.
I still think sometimes, of that little blue mug, broken on the sidewalk... I walked away with a shrug of indifference, then looked back at it and thought briefly that I should go back, pick up the pieces and try to save it. I might have even been able to use it one more time, but I know I would only break it again, eventually. It would need so much extra care and attention, just to prevent a small portion from coming off in it's weakened condition. That's just creating more work for myself. I don't know where I'd find the extra time - It's only a mug.
I looked back one more time. It looked so lonely and abandoned, so I turned around - I couldn't stand looking at it any longer. It's broken. It's useless. I already miss it.
There's nothing better than a ceramic mug, only you can't just drop it on the sidewalk and walk away... It won't survive that way. You have to coddle it, take extra special care of it, and never EVER try to hold it by the tip of your last, tiny finger, because it needs more support than that, if you expect it to last.
I really regret leaving it there. I worried for a while, that someone else with all the time in the world might come along, try to pick the mess up off the sidewalk, and wind up lacerating THEIR fingers. I hope not.
I wonder if it's still there.
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030429
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