trying_not_to_cry
nom
is
really
really
hard
sometimes
070130
...
nom
trying
to
write
i
find
myself
just
sitting
here
staring
at
the
computer
screen
and
realizing
i'm
paying
to
just
stare
at
a
computer
screen
and
i
can't
afford
to
do
that
and
i
was
supposed
to
be
somewhere
already
070228
...
caresscoffee
I
wrote
this
letter
to
my
ex
-boyfriend..
I
don't
even
know
why
and
I'm
finding
it
hard
as
I'm
trying
not
to
cry
..
First
of
all
I
never
once
pretended
you
were
Marcus..
I
might
really
like
him
but
I
was
just
his
friend
..
I'm
still
just
his
friend
as
I
plan
to
continue
being
his
friend
..
I
loved
you
as
I
do
now
I
might
have
royally
fucked
up
as
far
as
you're
concerned
and
I
might
be
lazy
but
I
never
once
lied
to
you
about
anything
..
there
was
a
lack
of
communication
and
I
might
have
demanded
more
of
you
than
you
were
willing
to
give
I
might
have
wanted
more
of
you
than
you
could
/would
give
me
..
more
of
you
than
I
had
any
right
to
demand
or
want
..
I'm
sorry
that
I
wanted
you
and
you
alone
but
that's
who
I
am
..
when
I
love
or
hate
it's
wholeheartedly
..
when
I'm
in
a
relationship
I
invest
every
inch
of
myself
in
that
relationship
..
I
admit
that
I
fucked
up
a
lot
..
I
wasn't
patient
enough
with
you
..
I
didn't
give
you
time
to
think
about
things
and
figure
it
all
out
..
I
was
too
clingy
but
I
can't
help
that
..
I
don't
care
about
the
things
most
people
find
important
and
I'm
sorry
for
that
..
I
thought
you'd
love
me
no
matter
who
or
what
I
was
..
that
was
my
mistake
..
I
wasn't
pretending
at
any
point
in
time
that
you
were
someone
other
than
Johnathan Lambert...
you
might
be
an
asshole
at
times
..
you
might
have
hurt
my
feelings
a
lot
..
you
might
even
have
offended
me
more
than
anyone
I'd
ever
met
before
but
I
fell
in
love
with
you
regardless
..
I
could
see
something
so
sweet
and
beautiful
inside
that
nobody
else
seemed
to
see
..
I
saw
an
amazingly
intelligent
,
incredibly
funny
,
sensitive
and
very
sweet
guy
but
I
didn't
under
any
circumstance
fall
in
love
with
someone
that
was
not
there
..
because
I
loved
all
of
you
..
every
inch
..
even
the
bad
..
I
loved
you
..
and
then
you
tell
me
that
you
love
me
but
only
as
a
friend
...
that
you
wanted
to
be
held
and
I
just
happened
to
be
there
..
that's
incredibly
nice
of
you
..
I
felt
so
loved
..
I
admit
I
fucked
up
when
I
said
any
of
that
I
was
frustrated
and
on
my
period
..
I
get
over
-overly
emotional
on
my
period
..
you
of
all
people
should
know
about
saying
things
you
don't
mean
when
you're
frustrated
as
you
do
it
all
the
time
..
070228
...
unhinged
i
told
you
to
go
away
because
i
was
still
afraid
to
show
you
just
how
vulnerable
you
make
me
heart
190418
...
unhinged
not
succeeding
190419
...
unhinged
everywhere
i
go
still
not
succeeding
190524
...
Twitch
I'm
just
going
to
talk
to
you
like
a
Labrador Retriever
in
human
form
. "
What's
wrong
unhinged
?"
190525
