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re_alisma
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my life-mission is to become less subject to domination, *without dominating in return*, to become less enthralled. i have many things going for me to get me to achieve my mission, but i still get into thralls a lot. to be enthralled when enthrallment is due and compensated for is, like, totally the highest of temptations.
also, being out of thralls is very, very boring, at this stage, because i've yet to develop other skills. so i have to slowly build these, and not expect too much pay-back, this-life. that's what it seems like to me. it looks passive and invites people to lasso me in another thrall, but that's definitely not my intention, and actually it's bit of a tricky trap that i kind of unfairly set since i don't know how else to account for others' culpability. i'm not perfect, but i gotta do some judging to make it to a more stable and beneficial existence. so if you're a thrall-thrower (examples: my father, my brother, some of my college friends), you'll be out of my developmental story, sooner or later. it's nothing personal, it's just what i have to grow up and out of.
and that's good-enough to describe what-i-believe. God and the Devil are always around, pretty overwhelmingly. i don't have to make a point of them and do identity-work, identity crisis stuff. i suppose that's how i reason my detachment and why i have an affinity to Buddhism but stop short of calling myself a Buddhist. it's kind of simple, actually, and quite a boon and a blessing to poise right at that spot... and i reccommend it but have to avoid casting a thrall as a way of reccomendation. although it's not always clear that i would be wrong to, in some cases. it's not an uncommon thing to do, and what can be said for the competition?
anyway, this can be very abstract. and it's not very pro-love, is it? i don't know if that's ultimately a sad thing, or not.
also, an astrology note: i'm beginning to think that Pluto really doesn't got game. but the polarity (opposite in the zodiac to Pluto) very well might in an ultimate sense, and not this since-we're-too-one-sided, we- gotta-balance-ourselves-out that some evolutionary astrologers propose. i do think Pluto might be an error of some sort.... but i don't think we're getting some greatly improved, purified version of it by doing lots of emotional work on the polarity, only to go back to Pluto. rather, we're GOOD at our polarities, and we keep on insisting on occupying Pluto stuff. getting stuck in the muck, as it were. for me, creative influence is not a good place as much as higher-mind initiative is. i would assert that nobody is a perfect mandala, totally balanced out in every direction. Saturn is transiting my Pluto, currently. it only does that maybe three times during a life. i can see the end, as it would be.
but: i'm digressing from every digression, here!
(Barry Adamson Walk the Last Mile)
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