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the_truth_about_glass
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DannyH
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The assertion that glass is a liquid is one of those factoids which people love to trot out at dinner parties in the hope that it will make them marginally more likely to be allowed to place their genitals inside or around another’s. It is of course a myth. It is no more true to say that glass is a liquid than it is to say that bees can fly (see: why_bees.) Glass is, in fact, a living organism, capable of both sentient thought and emotional distress, although decidedly alien in it’s origin. Glasskind first came to this planet over ten thousand years ago, having travelled over fifty million light minutes from it’s home planet of Gingko in a desperate attempt to evade the planet-sized Gagrantulex of Naarh which needed several million tonnes of a specific part of what we would probably call its endochrine system for a particularly tasty Rubblebeast surprise it was cooking for its girlfriend’s parents. The few individuals that survived settled on planet Earth, having evaded their pursuer by the use of a novel form of camouflage known as real-time telepathic rendering. Glass uses it’s millions of protruding eye-stalks to recreate a perfect image of any area which it occludes with it’s body and relays it telepathically, perfectly adjusted for viewpoint, to any creature in the area. The creatures themselves are microscopic and come together in huge swarms to form useful household objects such as drinking vessels or transparant sections of wall (sometimes called windows.)
Glass is generally a shy and peace-loving creature but it has been known to defend itself ferociously when it’s communities become fractured or dissipated. You will, no doubt, be aware that if you come too close to a breakaway faction of what once used to be a tumbler you will find yourself attacked by minute laser-type weapons capable of cutting deeply into human flesh. Try not to be alarmed by such an attack. Glass is very unlikely to move in for the kill. In any case the top speed of a healthy adult glass is around one millimetre per earth year. The fact that evidence of this movement can be seen in the thickening of the base of panes of glass from many hundreds of years ago is what has led to the erroneous assumption that glass is a liquid. In fact this phenomena is explained more accurately by millions of tiny aliens attempting in a very slow but determined way, to make their escape.
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050816
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Soldiers of Cork
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so, um, now armed with _this_ information, will i be better armed to place my genitals in or around other's at a party?
i just asked out (and got summarily rejected) by the fabulously snazzy woman in my portuguese class; maybe had i told her of the true history of glass, i would not be so all alone.
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050816
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Soldiers of Cork
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close paren three spaces to the right.
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050816
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unhinged
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bitter
frail
bonds weakened by heat
shatter_me
i've had this reoccuring itch
since i was quite young
my anger translated into
the sound of breaking glass
the prettier the better
i won't own a glass pipe
the salt in my tears like glass
rubbing my cheeks raw
while my heart is breaking
frail
bonds weakened by time
distance
loneliness
so fragile no matter how thick
some part of me is so satisfied by
the sound of breaking glass
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050817
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z
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hypoeutectic
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050817
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thieums
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It's made of fairies!
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090210
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jane
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it's actually a gas.
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090210
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z
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i like this page.
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090210
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Xotchl
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the truth about glass is that nobody eats glass.
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090210
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gja
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Oscar and Lucinda
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090211
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