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flowerock
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silence_builds_bombs emotional_time_bomb
I have an ex boyfriend who I didn't talk to for a few years. we had a strong spirit connection abd lived in the same little city. I felt him often and heard things about him from mutual friends. when I was finally free of the relationship and fear I had been in, causing the silence, I broke the silence. so intense, all my focus and hope was in him. we almost fell right back into love together, the connection was still there, but we were different people than wewere before and I fell so deeply in love with someone else, even more intensely. now the silence is back. it's an idirect silence now. I break it, pour emotion, aplogies, and thoughts all overhis inbox... i get short polite replies, and sometimes no reply. I don't know how to feel about it. I want friendship,but i get so emotional i think it comes across as something else. he and my now boyfriend heartmate are friends, I also worry thatmy heartmate worries about this. there is no need for worry, i love my heartmatte : ) sooooo much. i just have a hard time letting go.. I fear the silence... i panic... i have bad dreams and feel badly for causing awkwardness. silence may be best. maybe.
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140520
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