|
E Plurbius Klerbloinkulum
|
They had but several acres, and they loved lettuce, so they planted it everywhere. Those who passed near were often heard to comment, "Why, that whole lot is covered in lettuce! That's a LOT of LETTUCE!"
Effeciency is at times indomitable, and the people, with their busy, busy lives, were soon forced to shorten their exclamations: henceforth, such passers saw the lot and said, "LoL!"
This meant, of course, Lots of Lettuce. Word spreads fast, and soon the whole world was saying "LoL" whenever they would've instead said "Lots of Lettuce". This saved everyone lots of time and energy, and the people were merry.
Alas, life is not without struggle and one day and evil faction arose, claiming that LoL really meant "Lots of Laughs". Vicious hatreds ensued but after several terrible wars and a short series of Petocratic Governments (i.e., government by one's pets, e.g., your cat or Muffins the Doberman Pinscher), order was restored.
Since then, everyone knows that LoL means "Lots of Lettuce". But in the dark shadows of old, abandoned industrial complexes, men can be heard to whisper LoL and their intentions are not pure; their incantations refer to "heaps of hilariousness", shall one say. They also do this in Bolivia, for some strange reason. But hey - gotta love Bolivia.
You can always tell the Bolivians on the internet; they're the ones using LoL in the mysterious, ancient way that is soooo out of date and totally unfashionable among the tween crowd, many of whom only eat lettuce, although others only eat sugar. Me? Sugared lettuce, all the way.
|
070829
|
