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stream_of_thought
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reitoei
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typing click click point what to say who will reply clatter of dishes 10:42 christmas presents no snow here snow in germany ice cubes martini power outage no computer no blather shoelaces untied deadlines stress get the mail shut up no wants to hear this
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011226
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ClairE
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i miss you i miss you i miss you one thing I can say for myself is i won't allow myself to lead a life of quiet desperation that's for sure
i hate the snow
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011226
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yummyC
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whining is so boring to read good deeds don't exist facade its all a game who wins who wins who wins. do i care? do you care? what is care? i'm so hungry, i can't eat a thing, none of it looks healthy enough to keep down but what does it matter if im fat? does it help me win or lose? should I care about winning or losing? whats all this 'care' business about anyway? i dont really want my answers questioned...or my questions answered for that matter. matter care stuff particles. in 4th grade for the test we were taught the word particle, and to use it as often as we could. isn't that funny? particles of sand in the baseball diamond football feild.
i need to go away.
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011226
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birdmad
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thankfully, no one has been pissing in mine lately
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011226
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paste!
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gosh do hams tether when you say feather? belch reckoner, wherest the planar fish, that asteroid named Eupholoniaus? begone liquid buttons! keyboad toad spray. moose design. impermanence. this is the way that the black rooster flees when an upside dwon kon do flackies the malo-candeltraut. hey hey we're the drunks.
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011226
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daxle chunk
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even though im not all that good looking i wish i had someone to take pictures of me cause anyone with perfectly put on blood red lipstick needs their picture taken
my hands are cold i sould move the heater but would that harm the laptop
once again my ass hurts
i'm a walking injury magnet
i want to go home, this isn't my home anymore
it would be cool to send god sounds but i don't have a computer down here so i would have to ask to use my brother's comp and he is never never here
he might be going to jail tomorrow and i have no idea why
[parts of "it's alright ma (i'm only bleeding)]
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011226
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pat sajaks ghost
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he not busy being born...
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011226
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pralines&cream
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I love!! I love, and i'm so in love, and he's all that's on my mind, in my thoughts, in my heart, on my mind. It's always him him him himhimhimhimhimhimhimhim and then again it's always himhimhimhimhimhimhimhimhimhimhim and it never ends, always him him him him, and i know that in his mind it's always she she she she and her her her her her fingers, her smile her lips her teeth her touch her hair, and i think his smell his caress his body his gentleness his sweet, melting loving words and his body, i think, and her body, he thinks, and it's always just him her him her himherhimherhimher until we're one and it's herhimherhimherhim ... it's lust and love and passion and tears and screams and door slams and gasps and pleasure and orgasms and sweat and rest, and it's passion at it's best.
I'm so in love with that man.
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011227
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Mahayana: Zakah:
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her presence always fucking drags me on my presoiled knees, it can either be a two way street, free flowing & i always always know that she loves me than the neXt time she expands & billows weeping weeping willow tree swaying a 1,000 sobering sobbing fashion liked eXpressions for me to wear upon facial facades of yes maam thank you very much for loving me ...you fucking call me a fuckwitt [saying fuck you, fuck sass, wake up, you let people shit on you, and now ill fucking leave this computer & worry about you.. well god damn fucking shit excuse me that i complicate your oh so precious life .. by making you worry about me ... shit shit shit .. will ANY FUCKING BODY IN THIS GOD DAMN WORLD CARE ABOUT ME_ AS IS_ NO FUCKING RECEIT TO RETURN OR EXCHANGE ALL I WANT TO DO IS LOVE SOMEONE DOESNT ANYONE WANNA BE LOVED ANYMORE ]cuz im too kind & fall for peoples fake ass cracked ass shit & bitch & moan at me how i need to be strong and stand up for myself what the hell man what if its YOU i need to stand in front of ... and i fucking wonder ... when this explosion one day will tear away my eyeballs & fingertips & ill know longer & no lo0nger will be able to see her as fucking beautiful ... she always draws her own damn conclusions without having the strength to ask why Y Y Y why or even give a rats ass... just keep on stringing along those entrails & see how much longer ill be taking your emotional bashings from you ...
[and the way that fucking feels is so damn uncontextualized by any langauge] UGH!!!!
aihdoiuwbrbkbhrgyi47y24t7864745hthugtkutuhtghughjugdpds90ad8wd0973r748rt4t 8yt85yt08t7805t55
[somedays i just wanna take a hammer, jacksaw, crowbar and completely electronically hardwire dissect her heart's heart and the essence of her soul & my keyboard all at once, i wanna witness something real 4 once, not this calendar day-bomb that goes off at wimb shit ... shite]
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011227
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ClairE
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Heartburn hurts. Perhaps it is contagious?
Man. My brain is empty today.
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011228
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Avalanched
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m, yeah, icecream is good, yep, i wonder when meredith will be back to eat it with me, to bad shes in newyork, new york steals all my friends, i wonder when julia is coming back? huh? i wonder why im like i am.
ah look, a glue stick,
some scisors very useful, did i spell that right, oh well i dont really give a damn, no one really cares anyway right?
i think i think alot of uncertain words.
maybe i should try and stop that.
i wonder what that would do?
oh fuck
i did it again
blah blah blah, im cold
why am i always cool?
cept sometimes in school, in the hall, the halls are really hot
maybe its cuz of the pool
i hate swimming, i cant, i drown
that would by far be the worst way to die, drowning, ah bur make me colder.
im kinda tierd
maybe i should go to bed
i dont really dream good dreams anymore, its kinda weird, they are just, i dunno, weird, something about panda bears and i dont know.
im going skiing tomorrow, yes! maybe i'll go off a big jump and land on my face again, good times.
i wish i had a boyfriend, i wish someone liked me other than petafiles, ah jason scare me.
right well, going to go find some heat, over and out
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011228
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Mahayana: Zakah:
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i wanna be caught underneath an avalanch, except i do not want to run away, i want to be that one sick bastard that stands underneath one with arms spread eagle wide open as if ... i am jumping & releasing ... jumping & releasing off of the worlds fucking highest pencil sharpened point ... pluging down like some stinky stank stunk plunger towards a certain visible fate ... and id be wearing eyegoggels like the old fake nerdy german motorcycle goggles from world warII & id be laughing all the while singing your name in my heart ... fuck me for letting you fuck me over ... fuck me for fucking myself over yet again, fuck fuck fuck .... is the only word that has any resemblance towards a release for me anymore ...
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011228
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morphine.
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oh my god it all feels so heavy and good and top and stop and never and want and wish and cant think and all i can do is hear hear hear this is all that is happening is this and that and
oh my god
and oh my oh my fucking hell i feel so stupid half the time but really i just
cant stop wanting you.
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021216
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unhinged
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you can't come here. i hate it when my brain and heart are conflicted. i know that you were in prison for some pretty heavy stuff but does that mean you aren't a human being? does that mean that i didn't laugh, smile, feel contented when you held me? i can't help feeling that it's just some game that reveals a cheap prize. i think nicole was right today when she said she's never seen a city like youngstown. part of me will be in youngstown forever. for the past two years i've been so anxious to leave and now i can't help but think that i'm meant to be there; with him. when we met them she said 'i believe there was a reason that i was in dennys tonight. everything happens for a reason.' and he woke up and said 'that was the best i've slept in a long time.' i don't eat anymore. today i had a can of coke and a small plate of my mom's spaghetti; no one makes spaghetti like my mom. i think it was because i grew up on the polish-american version of spaghetti though. i think it's finally time to eat my one meal. if they would ever get home. blah. you can't come here. i'm trying to prove to my father that i am not lazy and irresponsible and selfish. he is having a hard enough time with ghadir. i can't believe his e-check notice came to our house. that's pretty damn shady. i miss her but it is all her fault. can i withstand anymore scratches on my face?
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021217
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good old feck
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there's my leg...I wonder if there's any beer in that can?
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021217
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Squelette
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Did you actually imagine what a physical "stream of thought" might look like?
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060207
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%20Hi%20You
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Similar to barfing, probably.
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060207
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