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something_irks_me
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Aimee
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I hate it when people just assume you're fishing for a compliment. To be honest, I don't even know why I come here anymore. I read what people have to say, and it's so much more brilliant than anything I have to contribute. I guess, I stay because I'm addicted, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't have the command of the rhetoric that daxle, daffy, bobby, nocturnal, sabbie or anyone else here does. And there are days where I have trouble accepting that, and there are days where I say "fuck it, I'm just as good as anyone else!", but those days are becoming fewer and farther between.
I guess, I'm just tired of being the underdog. I don't really care if people like what I write, or even if they read it. It just bothers me that the quality of that which I have to say just plain sucks, and of course there will always be people out there who will of course, state the obvious about my writing. So no, I'm not "fishing for a compliment". I'm being honest.
Besides, lately, blather's been kinda negative. We used to encourage each other, not rip each other apart (although, it did happen from time to time). But blather evolves I suppose, and I guess it's becoming an angry, defiant, angst ridden teenager... oh well...
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020921
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farmfish
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"if i could act like this was my real life and not some cage where i've been placed,
then i would tell you the truth like i used to and not be afraid
of sounding fake.
now all that anyone's listening for are the mistakes."
-conor oberst
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020921
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silentbob
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farmfish knows who conor oberst is
this gives me hope
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020921
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no reason
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The cold and listless
cause it all to change
drowning words of empathy
and understanding
in a sea of ignorance
forcing agression to
shove away compassion
letting go
losing grip
feeling the sacred space
closing up, and
slipping away.
pure thoughts are driven away
by the blind and critical
masks against vulnerability
are bravely removed
Just in time
Judgment surfaces,
striking and cutting to
the core
where dreams are squandered
and hope is lost.
let go
lose grip
witness the light dimming
and fade to darkness.
Shut down.
Slip away.
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020921
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curious toys
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the way i fall in love,
how i adore them from afar, yet....
without wanting to be with them
i don't think i actually "love"
i just sit around and idolize.
that irks me.
i don't have enough confidence to think i deserve to be loved.
i dont't though.
that irks me, too.
p.s. did someone say conor oberst...oh my god...i want him to sing to me at night...i want him to have my babies.
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020922
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