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simple_attraction_vs_affinity
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birdmad
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the puzzle i can never solve
(not that i generate much of either, myself)
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031123
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o/flip
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you know simple attraction from the beginning. you know affinity only at the end.
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031123
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birdmad
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frequently it's been affinity that gives rise to an attraction, with the mistaken assumption that the same is felt from the other side
i've almost never been able to approach someone simply because i found them attractive, my most deeply felt longings have always grown out of friendships, and all the hedonistic indulgences i ever knew were the result of a reputation built from small chain of barely believeable occurrences
i've got dozens of friends and acquaintances, a handful of whom i have fight the urge to fall in love with, because i know that outcome already, i experience that flash of simple attraction maybe fifty times a week, but much like the rat in Henry Rollins' old spoken word piece "Rattus Norvegicus" what am i gonna say to some nice looking girl who i wanna meet?
(The rat says: "And what am i gonna say to some nice looking girl who i wanna meet...'I can chew through lead pipes and cinderblocks?' or 'I can tread water for over 36 hours?' or 'I can run on telephone wires?' Come on!" ... my own list of skills and acheivements outside of a talent for stringing words together is mostly a pretty dubious lot)
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031123
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sylphide
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Perhaps in considering the degree of affection can help define one from the other. Affection can come in such simple forms that may never be truly considered as being holy in any way. Beyond the typical rituals in the early stages of any relationship, has their happiness developed in it's essentialism to your own? is it unrequited? is it reciprocated?
I've found writing these things down sometimes helps muchly.
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031123
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.
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very wise, sylphide.
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031123
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x
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you don't have to tell them anything. you have many good qualities which come through from getting to know you.
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031123
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bird
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i'd like to believe that, but the last set of qualities i possess that anybody has named off to me in any way certainly wasn't a very positive list
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031123
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kss
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you make nice words
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031124
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original or extra stupid
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it's the ones who knew me that convinced me the most that maybe my "good qualities" aren't all that good or arean't all that many
and nice words... whoop-de-fucking-do
so nice they've always failed when i needed them most... a great bloody lot of good they've done
and cold_comfort too.
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040503
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