|
dafremen
|
Alright, so I don't get all the fuss about this gender bathroom, bathroom gender, genitalia bathroom whatever the fuck. I just don't get all of the fuss.
So guys get to use the girls john if they feel womanly. What's the big deal? My girl's been asking me to get in touch with my feminine side, lately. Frankly, she's right, it's a big stress reliever (Long as none of your friends see you.)
Yea, there's cons to the whole thing. Like who could tell up front that clean-cut Olympic hopeful Brock Turner would turn out to be the most pathetic P.O.S. ever found near a dumpster?
I'm sure a man in a dress walking into the bathroom has got to be a lot less intimidating than a Cal Tech swimmer, especially here in America where we gave up on providing public mental health services years ago.
Then there's this, ladies, guys-in-lady-bodies, why the fuck would you want to go into the men's room? Have you been in there? Do you have any idea what we do to that place?
It looks like someone hooked a fire truck up to a urine hydrant and hosed the placed down. We have, pen, pencil, crayon and sharpie drawings of dicks and spread legs everywhere. 1 out of 4 guys don't wash their hands on the way out of the place (and that's not only a conservative estimate, it's also the LEAST disgusting residue that gets left behind in a men's room.) Beer-guzzling guys have a much larger fart capacity than most women and we don't freshen up before we leave the can normally, so that fart can LINGER. Did I say linger? Shit, that fart smell can apply itself liberally to your clothing and hang out chatting with your nose for the rest of the day.
Speaking of which, that's one of the PROs of being able to use the ladies room whenever I'm feeling a little sassy and sexy. (You know, right after a six-pack and a doobie, just before the nap kicks in.) Most ladies' rooms don't stink. I don't want to hold my breath when I go into the restroom. But you've got to. Otherwise you're going to come out with someone else's poop molecules all over your tongue and up your nose. Fuck that. Unavoidable or not, that's some bullshit right there.
You ladies, on the other hand, mix your poop molecules with perfume and the "scent of a woman." See I'm in on that deal. That sounds like a much more pleasant bathroom experience than just straight poop molecules fresh out of some old man's hairy ass. (Now if we can just keep the stinky old brothers from feeling sassy and sexy.)
And how about this? You're at the bar. The game is intense. It's the last quarter, it's tied, the tension couldn't be any higher. Leaving the action right now would be downright sacrilegious. Unfortunately, you didn't foresee that this game would be so good. You left your traveler's bladder in the closet and going out to buy some Depends this late in the game is out of the question. Solution? Hey, just sachet into the ladies room and drop a couple of quarters in the napkin dispenser (or just grab a fistful from the napkin dispenser on the bar when the bartender isn't looking.) Instant liquid absorption, gentlemen. And a lot of it too, Id say from the amount of blue liquid those things soak up on the commercials. That'll get you through the last few minutes of the game. (Remember though, put it on the outside of your underwear, or that's a foul.)
From what I can tell from the occasional glimpse as the door closed, or when I accidentally walked past the wrong symbol, the ladies' room is something of a shitter shangri-la. A paradise for the bowel and bladder set.
I want in on that, so this law doesn't seem like such a bad thing to me.
I guess the only major downside I can see to this whole co-ed bathroom thing is that eventually, everyone's bathroom is going to be covered in sharpie dicks, body fluids and bad poetry.
The ladies' room. Enjoy its wonders while you can, ladies & gentlemen. The window is quickly closing.
|
170103
|
