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sex_and_my_city
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no reason
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i've noticed lately, specifically in my city, with people i know, that smart/funny/attractive women tend to remain single for a lot longer than their male counterparts. this most definitely is a generalization, and it could be that i know more women than men, or it could be that i'm not looking hard enough, or other factors, etc., but it's something i've noticed and wondered about.
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120613
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a clever disguise
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Amen, sista...
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unhinged
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im totally on the female side of my bisexuality these days for so many reasons, but in recent years ive formed pretty strong opinions on this topic that i sometimes notice are vaguely confirmed by the life around me.
men need to be needed
men need to be the center of their universe
men are drawn to the snow white types
generally
men of our generation
still want the housewife
or the ho
feminism is more of a fallacy than or mothers would like
both of my parents raised me to be independent and self sufficient. im not afraid of my own intelligence and talent; i wear them on my sleeve. the wit comes out of my mouth more freely. and for most of my adult life ive been alone or involved with losers.
the admirable men in my life were intimidated by me. i don't need a man to teach me or pay my way. in fact, i don't want any person in my life to do that.
a more specific example:
anthony
he wanted to be a musician so bad he could taste it. he worked with me at the music store. we played in a band that never got off the ground. he knew my abilities musically and lyrically. he held me at arms length cause he was inspired by me but part of his ego couldn't handle being with me cause he thought i was more talented. so he found a rapunzel to rescue from her 'i don't know how to take care of myself cause i live on my rich parents' tower over and over. he is currently on rapunzel number three. he needs to rescue them; he needs to feel needed. i wanted to make an army of musical babies with him. my desire to procreate is slim at best most of the time. but i didn't need his help. or so he thought.
sorry, that was tangential
but i have never been good at stroking male egos. i don't kiss ass. im beginning to think i should abandon the male realm altogether. the heartache they cause has been raised to an unbearable level in recent months
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no reason
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i'm not good at stroking egos either, when it's clear that's what people are asking for. i will compliment someone when they are deserving of it, because i'm proud of them, not because of their need for attention and approval (lots of trouble dating leos in the past. coincidence?).
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no reason
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unhinged, what you're saying reminds me the "hubble" character/theory from 'the way we were' (people being intimidated by strength/self-sufficiency/real-life problems)
also, big/carrie/natasha in sex_and_the_city
rob gordon in high_fidelity
it's sure prevalent in pop culture.
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no reason
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safe vs. scary?
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unhinged
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well I think the way I relate to people tends to be more piscean in nature which makes us similar and anthony is a leo. fire and water don't mix.
but I think it is beyond astrology and goes to deeper societal gender conditioning. women haven't had the right to vote in this country for even 100 years yet. also family dynamics/cultural backgrounds make a difference too in relationships.
my father raised me to be independent but he is a typical german in he has a hard time expressing his feelings and a typical irishmen in his quick temper. i grew up listening to him demean my mother and i won't stand for it in my own personal life.
as I once wrote somewhere else in this blue, if you don't like the way i shit then don't watch me shit.
men take and women give. after thousands of years, its engrained in the human machine. i need a soft chest to lay my head on, a hand to hold. 'you can't hold hands when they make fists' and testosterone makes fists more often than not
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no reason
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also... maybe some independent women feel uncomfortable expressing any need (this from personal experience), thinking it'll be construed as weakness. i can imagine this could translate to us seemingly not needing other people.
(and yes, definitely beyond astrology, that was just something i noticed offhand)
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unhinged
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yeah, I don't ask for help even when I need it. Its not in my nature really.
so when it comes down to it, boys with snow white complexes pass me by for other more obviously damaged specimens
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unhinged
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and me and my brother decided that the west coast is pretty shallow. maybe its the same in canada?
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no reason
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i don't know... i never really thought of it as a shallowness issue. i live on the east anyway, though!
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a clever disguise
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I take.
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120614
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no reason
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a quote about the sex and the city episode from imdb that i think hits the mark:
"'Your girl is lovely, Hubbell' (what Carrie says to Big at the end of the ep) has meaning on two levels in both the original and in the SitC scene using it--there is the simple fact that the girl in question is, indeed, in both instances very attractive. But the deeper meaning is that for both Hubbell and Big (at that moment), the lovely is also code for uncomplicated, easy, decorative.
In the SitC episodes leading up to Big's marriage to Natasha, Carrie asks why it wasn't her, and he responds that it just got too hard. I think the same is true in The Way We Were--Katie and Carrie are independent, complicated, opinionated...and it is both what attracts Hubbell and Big, but also in the end overwhelms them. In Big's case, he comes to see his mistake (remember the episode when he is married to Natasha and they run into Carrie while furniture shopping, and Big makes a derisive comment about all the beige furniture? Clearly a reference to the "beige" life he is leading with Natasha--boring, uncomplicated, etc).
Carrie says "Your girl is lovely, Hubbell" with all it implies--he is the golden boy who has it all and takes the easy way, and the "easy" woman out--at least then. In the end, of course, he changes his mind. But the point in both The Way We Were AND SitC isn't that Natasha and the other woman are prettier than Katie or Carrie (though that might be the case), but that they are simpler, easier to deal with, less work."
it's not to say that women like this are necessarily simple or cookie-cutter, but they are less opinionated and less complicated, which i guess is attractive in its own way
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REAListic optimIST
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If you have transcended gender roles
to the point of bisexuality,
why paint one gender with such broad strokes?
People of heart can be any gender.
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unhinged
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i think you are right about pop culture perpetuating the problem. i don't own a tv; i try not to pay attention to it. but one of my favorite shows is weeds.
in the sixth season, nancy is trying to sell hash to and get fake passports from an arabic guy. he tells her she has to send a man to his man to get the passports. she looks at him and says 'why do your people do that? you know...the whole female oppression thing?' sic
and he looks at her and says 'cause you women scare the shit out of us'
and it has been like that for thousands of years now. entire cultures built around oppression of women. there are a lot more muslims here in seattle; i even help the women at work sometimes buying long skirts. there's something vaguely disturbing about it to me; especially when their entire face except for the eyes is covered. intellectually i understand. it is an expression of their religion, just like my vegetarianism is an expression of mine.
but why? why did a man (more than likely) decide that to keep himself in check all the women around him had to be loosely covered from the crown of their head down to the soles of their feet? it disturbs me.
sorry; once again im being tangential.
my heart is clenched these days. i have little to no patience with other humans, especially those that will take from me. in recent years, the takers in my life have mostly been men. i am prone to generalization when i'm upset. right now my universe is in a period of contraction. hopefully the next time my universe explodes it will be a joyful explosion.
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