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unhinged
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i left work last night and walked to the corner to smoke a cigarette before i went down in the tunnel to catch the bus.
i would rather not stand on the damn corner but it is one of the only places a cop couldnt write me a ticket for smoking at the busstop.
some guy crossing third avenue started hollering to get my attention but i get sick of sharing my cigs with crackheads on third avenue. my compassion stops there. i tried to ignore him but he caught up to me while i was stopped and asked to buy a cigarette. he wouldnt let me give him one. he stuffed a dollar into the pocket of the huge sack i lug on the bus.
at one point he looked at me and said 'you look so tired but you are smiling. i like that'
i was sharing my after work cigarette with a man who was on some kind of stimulant drugs, probably cocaine, when i realized that i was indeed smiling. sunshine in seattle does to me.
maybe it is from my caffiene detox
maybe it is from finishing the life of marpa
maybe it is from seeing the way mahamudra fits in my life outside of meditation
it is strange
i think i am having a spiritual growth_spurt
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