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please_help_onlygirlsrespondplease
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if any girl can relate to this please help me. i feel this a place where i people are kind and understanding. i can trust you people will not judge me. it is hard to talk about this with people i know. i am over 25 (i'd rather not give me real age)and though i'm not a virgin, i feel like it because sex is so painful, i can only tolerate it for a few minutes. i've never had an orgasm vaginally. i can easily climax through clitoral stimulation. i am told that this is due to muscles becoming so tight, my vagina opening becomes a tiny hole that nothing can get through (except for a tampon). i am also told that this is due to emotional issues. i am in therapy but i'm becoming very impatient. i want to know that there is hope that i can overcome this. i have a serious boyfriend but all we can do is oral sex. he is okay with that but i know he would enjoy more. plus i am getting up there in age and might like to have a baby someday.please if anyone has any words of advice that will help me look forward to a brighter future. i know that people can overcome this problem, but if i can hear a real life story of this happening, that would ease my mind.
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040129
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i forgot to mention that the medical term for this problem is vaginismus.
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040129
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Though I have not had vaginismus, I have overcome a milder sexual disorder. I am sure it is nothing compared to what you have gone through, but vaginismus is highly treatable. There is hope for you. And further, it isn't even a question of hope, but a question of time. Read the literature available to understand fully how you WILL be able to overcome the disorder, and to find any techniques that your therapist might not have suggested that are appealing to you and to your partner. Continue with your therapy, work at it, know it will pay off wonderfully once you get through, and then enjoy incredible sex with your boyfriend!
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040129
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what about muscle relaxants? alcohol?
i recommend against having a baby.
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040129
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magicforest
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I'm assuming your were diagnosed by a certified doctor who ruled out any other reasons for dyspareunia (pain with sexual intercourse). And yes, generally this is very psychological, especially from previous sexual trauma, abuse, emotional discomfort, etc. However, exercises including pelvic have sex--clearly he understands it is painful for you. Don't worry, and don't be ashamed. Vaginismus is not a remark on your feminine graces, or on your psychological health. floor muscle contraction and relaxation (Kegel exercises) to improve voluntary control over your vaginal muscles can help you out. Another physical option are vaginal dilation exercises, which are recommended using plastic dilators. This should be done ONLY under the direction of a sex therapist or other certified gyno or doctor, and treatment should involve your partner. This treatment can gradually include more intimate contact, hopefully resulting in intercourse. However, by and far, therapy is usually the most effective, likely, and healthy technique, because if the trauma was significant enough to trigger vaginismus, it probably should be dealt with before dealing with the emotional aspects of having sex. As well, you shouldn't feel obligated to
Best of luck.
was once tested for vaginismus
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magicforest
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EDITED VERSION MY FIRST ONE SCREWED UP
I'm assuming you were diagnosed by a certified doctor who ruled out any other reasons for dyspareunia (pain with sexual intercourse). And yes, generally this is very psychological, especially from previous sexual trauma, abuse, emotional discomfort, etc. However, exercises including pelvic floor muscle contractions and relaxation (Kegel exercises) to improve voluntary control over your vaginal muscles can help you out. Another physical option are vaginal dilation exercises, which are recommended using plastic dilators. This should be done ONLY under the direction of a sex therapist or other certified gyno or doctor, and treatment should involve your partner. This treatment can gradually include more intimate contact, hopefully resulting in intercourse. However, by and far, therapy is usually the most effective, likely, and healthy technique, because if the trauma was significant enough to trigger vaginismus, it probably should be dealt with before dealing with the emotional aspects of having sex. As well, you shouldn't feel obligated to
Best of luck.
was once tested for vaginismus
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