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littlebird
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two hundred of us gather cross-legged and eager in the hippie church to chant the names of Hindu gods the devotional leader tells us it does not matter that we do not understand Sansrit or pray to ganesha. the kirtan, he says, is a calling out to god in all his (and her) incarnations, an invocation of words we use to stand for the unnamable thing that teaches a spider to weave that pushes a tulip stalk through the soil that whispers to every pulse an urgent, "now!" he says, perhaps, if we chant as a dog moans for its absent master— fervent, sad and unexpectant, our longing will be a machete to split wide our coconut hearts— and from inside we'll scoop out the sweet, pulpy flesh of divine love that was there all along. om namo bhagavate vasudevaya om namo bhagavate vasudevaya that night your sleeping shoulders and back rise from the bed like a pale wall. i wish i knew all your secret names so that i might call out for you, like wistful chords from a harmonium. perhaps, if my chant were pure enough— sita ram, ram, ram sita ram, ram, ram i would find— you do love me and have all along
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050930
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