blather
exhausted_by_this_world
ever dumbening a non-stop assault on the physical mental emotional social political financial. tiny breaks, tiny moments of grace--they don't add up. the cost-benefit analysis always shows a loser. 170318
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unhinged .

i want to start smoking again so bad
170319
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flowerock. I hate cigarettes, but some days when I'm in a shitty mood and other people are smoking, I wish I smoked too, just seems like what people do when they're feeling enraged. Yesterday a coworker just directly insulted me until I finally snapped at him and we argued. I was so upset I was shaking and almost just walked out without finishing closing... but that would be ridiculous, so I finished everything and left with the other two coworkers. One smoked a cigarette and the other smoked a bowl and I vaporized a bowl... it was a nice little circle of stress relief via inhalation of sorts...
Petty bullshit, no tolerance for it.

Then I had to push a crack head away from me at the train station, he was very upset that I wouldn't play into his scheme to take my money by puting his discarded ticket into the machine while I tried to buy my ticket... I had to push him away and slap his hands away from my hands as I paid. He got 75 cents of my change when I cancelled the payment on his fake ticket...
We need to change something so that people don't end up like this, I can only be so angry at him knowing this world is making some people so sick.
170320
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unhinged my mother needs brain surgery again. the risks are death and blindness and lose of the use of her hands. she is a potter. she can't abide the lose of her hands so she is delaying surgery til the fall. but there is a chance this anyeursm could hemmorhage while she waits. if that happens again the chances she will have this high of functionality after are slim.


i can't ask my mother to give up her art. i can't get used to the idea of my life without her
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amy and the purplely apostrophe oh. i'm sorry to hear that... i had a feeling that something was up. hope things turn the corner for you and yours. it sounds like a hard decision. :(

make sure you ask the spirit world for help. i don't know, Native Americans maybe.
170418
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amy and the purplely apostrophe oh. i'm sorry to hear that... i had a feeling that something was up. hope things turn the corner for you and yours. it sounds like a hard decision. :(

make sure you ask the spirit world for help. i don't know, Native Americans maybe.
170418
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unhinged genuine_heart_of_sadness helps with the recognize_and_release yet again

getting back on the pious track and adding some ayurvedic herbs to the mix is healing
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Doar Much love unhinged.

.
170507
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daf Everything happens in cycles. Another big change is coming through. A lot of people are getting back to what they know is right. 170508