blather
evil_eyed_breath_stealer
D You know who you are. 130906
...
EEBS
i know who i am. do you know who you are? ;)
130906
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unhinged hes coming here tomorrow with his grey eyes like magnets and some chick that paid for his plane ticket 130906
...
unhinged its the depth of the damn things
his grey eyes
like elliott bay in the winter


ive been fantasizing about kissing him
ever_since
130912
...
D I never know who I am, and although I am the best selling model at this moment I am still falling down the stairs.

Without traction control.
131020
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unhinged that day he made it clear that he missed me and he wanted us to talk more, be closer again.


years and years ago i struggled with our relationship ( joseph_and_i ) but even back then there was something about us that let me see the beauty of loving someone and creating things with someone even if some of that love went unrequited. he loved me too even if it was not in the way that i wanted. at this point in my life, i understand the importance of love given, and the same as it was back then, i don't want to be discontent by degrees.

but
the whole thing was confusing



yesterday i sent him a picture like i usually do. (he is a photographer and a videographer so i figured he would appreciate my new refound hobby made so much easier to share (most of the time) with my little smartphone) when i mentioned i was on my way to work his response was:

'not that it matters but i just wanted you to know that i didn't buy christina those flowers that she had with her that day'


well
obviously it matters to you if you are bringing it up
i didn't think you did
and
why are you bringing this up?

but
i said instead
'i didn't think you did based on what you were saying about her'
and
'you can communicate with me about your feelings whenever you want. don't fret about it'

he said 'felt good to clarify cause it was bothering me' and 'i'm over it. just a random thought bubbling to consciousness'


if i didn't know him better i would have tried to read all kinds of things into that whole conversation. but i'm still left wondering why...why it bothered him. why he wanted to clarify that. if we are just_friends why would it matter to me or him that i might have mistaken that situation? *sigh*


blather_syncronicity
evil eyed might be harsh
but even after_all_this_time
i still get lost in his eyes
131021