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anne-girl
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I think school's excessively... inevitable
always at the same pace
the work and the deadlines pile up, you have to learn it by the end of the semester or take in the end
and I want to sit around with something and meditate on it until I learn to love biology
...
but I have a test friday so I'm reduced to studying [loathsome idea]... to sitting around trying to memorize facts and figures, meiosis, prophase II, anaphase nine, genetics, differences between the skeletons of alligators and frogs and armadillos and me
there's no time to care, they focus on marks and getting through [who cares if you forget it the day after the exam?]
and people look at me strangely for taking courses for fun.. they're all worried about marks, and careers, and that the university application deadline is coming up
and the courses I enjoy present no challenge... just kind of surfing through, wander in and out of classes
and nobody forces me to learn... they'll settle for me being mediocre, surfing by with a half-understood 84, my first and last biology class, the day after the exam it's all irrelevant... and my calculus tutees are drowning, they have no idea but they might pass anyway (i hope)
they don't have time to learn, to understand why cal is fun... the school system screwed them, they don't have the background or inclination for calculus, but have to get through anyway, somehow...
learning's reduced to a series of objectives (00UU, anyone?) and "is this on the test?"
maybe it'll get better next year...
goes back to studying
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051130
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