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kelc
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when i was in grade 6, i had pretty much my first and only friend. Justin. We talked, and its like he seen right through me, through the lie i was, the fake to the depression inside me.
He was my world. I spent most of my life with either my mom or her girl friend drunk, or having sex, and my mom having sex with people i didn't know when she was stoned.
He came at the time my mom's GF lost her job, and was drunk and i was up late very night cleaning up after her.
When my depression got at its worse.
He was everything. He was my hope, my trust, my faith for everything maybe eventually would be okay.
And then, maybe a month before summer break, he left and didn't come back until the last day of school exceot to put a note consisting of mainly swears on the teachers desk. That was my first time knowing he was okay ina month, and i worried myself so badly, hopeing he would return.. and he did.
So before he left i gave him all my contact info: phone number, adress EVERYTHING. But now, im in grade 9 and haven't heard from him. I made three or four friends since, but nothing can replace him, or the extreme hurt he put into me, smashing everything i'd ever had.
I just want to know hes okay. I want to know how he is. I want to know if he thinks of me, or if he even cares that i cry at night because i miss him, and would do anything for him to just talk to me, so i can hope hes okay. Justin. Justen Gravel. Its been so hard making friends after such a betrayal, and i don't trust the ones i have will always be there.
He was like my pulse, only he obviously forgot i need it to live.
Everything has just been a mess again since he left.
Im not okay, but im getting by, maybe barely,and i want to know he is too.
And its kiling me to know why he just left one day, and how hes doing.
But i can't.
Because hes not there anymore.. no one is.
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050724
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