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florescent light
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It's 2:34 am
I should go to bed
I've had a long night
and I will have an even
loooonnnngggeeeerrr day tomorrow.
But I can't
because I need to stay up
in case, per chance, Cliff comes on line
even though he could call
he doesn't
he won't.
so I will wait for him
just a little more
while there's a smidget of hope
and I will regret it
later, I will say
'where was my self respect?'
and I will say, 'god, how stupid I was for letting myself be so preoccupied with him'
And I will say, 'I will never ever let someone do that to me again.'
But then the next time rolls around.
And I will find myself waiting up
at 2:34 am.
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010714
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