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unhinged
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i'm drowning again
maybe i should put that book down
and never pick it back up
adagios of broken loneliness
remind me how hope fades
i want to go home
to you
but our shelter has collapsed
drifting away
drowning
in the sea of tears
you left for me
her headstone flashing before my eyes
random
his bare calves
framed in the rainy headlights
i am reminded
that i am always running
any happiness
a bare and temporary release
i am gone
but i haven't left
searching for any eyes
that understand like his
depths of wordless conversations
running out
the quiet torture of
starry skies framed by familiar buildings
the places i used
to sink to the bottom
frozen
all this inexplicable misery
a constant
in this strange landscape
he said i would never leave
because there is something comforting
in surroundings that reflect
like polished glass
translucent
transparent
i could wander around weeping
for awhile i forgot how to cry
but it has all come back to me
in this insufferable flood
of longing
for my miserable home
with my miserable friends
and my miserable love
that made me feel content to wallow
i couldn't function
without such a heavy load
for long
i miss it all
the way it fit like a glove
when nothing else even came close
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