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youve_been_inside_me
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.
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030514
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shaq attack!
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For the better? Eh. For the worse? Definetly not.
I'm still allowed to be hurt and befuddled by this, right? I still don't know why it happened in the first place. I tried forgetting about it and just dropping it... it's funny how little say my common sense has in my emotions.
Though upon reflection, that was pretty brutal. Embarassing. Like getting caught masturbating by a camera flash. I just want it erased.
Me at my most vulnerable and you at your most... I don't know. Maybe you were the same. But that's the thing. I never get to know anything about you.
I'm not some sorority girl looking for a drunken lay to ease the pain of adolescence. You mean/t something to me. You're a big old something to me. You knew that. You used that. That was. A mistake.
A million sorrys couldn't stitch the wound.
You know that feeling after you get punched in the nose?
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040528
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x
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what the fuck ever
like you weren't a willing participant
blame it all on the guy
get a grip
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040528
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Dosquatch
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I reached into the night
And I pulled out a dream
Of some lovely place
Bathed in moonlight's gleam
And you were there with me
I dared to see
What could be
And I reached out to you
I reached into the night
To take you by the hand
To lead us far away
To some forgotten land
And my hand came back empty
Too dark to see
Where you could be
And I reached out to you
I reached into the night
Just to touch your face
To feel your silky skin
The warmth of your embrace
Of your arms wrapped around me
To calm me
To ground me
I reached out to you
Through you
All along I knew you
Were never really there
Because you've been inside me
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040528
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x
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and i still feel it
and i want it over and over
and over
over
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040529
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shaq attack!
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I'm not blaming it all on him.
I'm not blaming it all on me.
I don't think anyone's TO blame in this case. It was just something that happened and now I get to deal with my feelings about it.
It was just a myopic little rant. I wasn't looking to fairly represent both parties. It isn't a five page research report on the consequences of having sex for the first time.
How would it be if the next time you get hurt, I tell you you're an asshole?
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040529
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shaq attack!
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Nevermind. This was just a bad idea. You're right and I'm sorry.
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040529
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dosquatch
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It's not a bad idea. Blather is here for anyone to rant as they see fit, so ignore x, they were just being assholes themselves.
Nothing says that your rant has to be balanced and take in to consideration his feelings. Nothing even says your feelings have to be balanced and give him the benefit of the doubt. If you feel taken advantage of, that's your right. If you feel pissed off, that's your right, too.
I'd give you a hug, but all I have are these electrons to send...
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040529
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mood ring
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hey, i was gonna say something like this, but she beat me to it.
o well, she said it better anyways...
*virtual hug*
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040529
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somebody
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dosquatch is a She?
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040613
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mood ring
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no.
my fingers dont understand me once in a while.
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040613
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laughing
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I don't know why exactly but I just sighed in relief
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040613
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dosquatch
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No, I am most definitely a "he", and all that entails, I just didn't see it as terribly important to correct (mood ring? who did you blathe as here?).
For some of my demographics, and my opinion of demographics, see pigeonhole.
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040613
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dosquatch
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Yeah, mood ring. Nevermind, carry on.
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040613
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pete
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Now take what you left behind and leave me.
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040614
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witchesrequiem
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but I forced you out with a knife.
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040615
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god
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and while i was inside
i might have been undignified
and that is maybe why you cried
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041011
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".ereh
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siht od ot esufer i"
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050414
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Loopo
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Sister!
at least you had one to love ...and, now....have one to complain about...
its nice to have someone isolate you.........as something special...
--------------------------------------- SOmewhere deep inside we just want to FEEL .
love hate pain joy
It doesnt matter............
goodbye sis...
we may never speak again....
we may never know eachother....
is that depressing to any of you?
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050414
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hsg
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inside Meg.
inside the center_of_the_sun.
41 grams of nutmeg. the forty-firstime i've tripped with it.
I traveled
into....
the center
of the....
sun.
I thought that maybe it would be like a fluid. or that I'd witness a bright moveable air of sorts.
but to my great surprise,
it was made from thought;
it was made of knowledge.
it's rays were no longer too small to see. sunrays were of a zigzag. with words written on it. then I realized the zigzag is made of knowledge. there wasn't a zig nor a zag. nor were there words written. it was knowledge. the knowledge seemed to only have one message: it was happiness expanding trying to shine on everything it could so it could make more things happy. this whole process seemed to define its happiness. it's like it's purpose was it's fuel.
happiness expanding, making light spread out to awaken those who haven't seen the sun.
about a year ago, I again met Meg.
I swallowed her and together wewewe wwweeeennnnttt tototo her place. I was no longer without her. I was within her. she swallowed me. told me her secret,
"Tripping is a journey into
the mechanisms of kindness."
watching the sunrise has always done well from the past. brings dark into light.
but this time we didn't watch the sun rise. we were inside it, recognizing that in some deep parts of us, the best parts of us, we were really deep inside ourselves, inside that light inside. this time we didn't watch the sun rise, we watched it expand.
Meg would have been sad if I left without taking home with me her "love" note.
went home remembering that from deep inside I want happiness to expand.
had a hard time getting used to the idea that the sun isn't some rock or ball or planet, but it's made of thought. it's alive and has it's own feelings and personality & everything.
at that level though, thought is psychic. all thought. doesn't seem to matter whose. someone "tells" you it just by "thinking" something.
you look at the sun and... you're-awake. thoughtspreadown & out.
does it make you happy to know that the sun warms the elements, the combinations evolve from ignorance into sustainable happiness?
it's a dance from
night to light.
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061122
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Syrope
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i suppose it's one level of claim above "you've seen me naked"...
it's an important scale in determining whose demands are most important
and in the number of times your heart can be repeatedly broken by the same person
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061122
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stork daddy
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i suppose you've all been inside me in a sense.
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061123
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In_Bloom
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Through blood, sweat and tears to come
Behind my eyes and under my skin where all thins are possible
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090822
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