|
| |
why_can't_i
|
|
|
Arwyn
|
be beautiful? I don't just mean physically, but spiritually, mentally, intellectually.. and any other way a person can be beautiful. I don't want to be entirely beautiful.. I just want to have at least one of these beauties. There's the beauty of talent. Which, I don't exactly feel I have much of a claim to, physical beauty left me after age 3 or 4. I just want to be as beautiful as a sunset, or a green leaf in summer. As beautiful as a symphony, or a mountain. I want to be as beautiful as the moon glittering off the sea, or a cathedral that stands alone in its majesty. I just want to be beautiful. I want to show the world how beautiful I could be if they'd let me.
But I can't be beautiful because my skins isn't always clear, and my body isn't slender and toned. My hair isn't really long, and it's not short, and my eyes aren't really all that beautiful. I want to be so beautiful, but I'll never be as beautiful as I dream. I will never be as beautiful as a summer day, or freshly fallen snow. I will never be as perfect as a morning flower with dew on it. I will never be as beautiful as the color blue, or a painting that dates back to the Renaissance. I will never be that beautiful. *sighs* I just can't be beautiful.
|
020311
|
| |
... |
|
|
girl_jane
|
Be with you...
|
030501
|
| |
... |
|
|
tortuous
|
make no mistakes
have no flaws
just
be
perfect
?
|
030929
|
| |
... |
|
|
oldEphebe
|
floss my teeeth more efficiently, there's always a trade off..i mean i want to be thorough..but i don't want to take all day getting out of the house
and why is that no matter how tight i tighten my glasses they always seem to slide down my nose
and why can't i play the saxophone like grover washington jr.? i'm a pretty good mimic..but i can't seem to get david sanborns and grover wahingtons distinctive tonalities and phraseology/articulation..can't quite capture the singular stamp they've placed upon their music..maybe i should just stick to unconsciously emanating paul desmond by way of james capalluppo's osmotic inculcation(s)..he always thought i was this kind of intuitive adept..that i couldn't be reading the chord changes that fast and assembling leit motifs based upon diminished and augmented chords going at such a blistering tempos..after i'd only been playing for a few months..he was wrong i was making the computations instantaneously..i'd actually read some of the book on modalites and such that he let me borrow for a few weeks..i think he thought i was like this idiot savante or something..and never wasted an oppurtunity to make the distinction between the cognitive merits of technical facility and apprehension of theory and sight reading vs an "in bred" predisposition to improvisation..i wanted to tell him that hey! i can't help it if people compare me to paul desmond..he's your idol not mine..i just picked up your sound because i respect you as a teacher and musician..stop trying to put me in my place..improvisation is just some native talent..it requires at least for me a cognitive investment..extemporaneus composition..the rubrics and the rudiments..and also a pretty good aural tonal memeory.. a store house of leit motifs and themes you can easily transpose to fit some of those maddening chord changes..that's what i wanted to tell him..but i never did..oh well..i don't think he really thought too much of me once i surpassed his expectations..oh well..he was though a brilliant muscician, conductor, and an okay arranger..he sound exactly like paul desmond and why he felt the need to subtly disparage me as my playing got better i'll never know..my playing was a tribut of his influence..his teaching acumen..i did pick up a lot of his idiosyncracies..the inimitable indices that had distinguished his sound
from many others..oh well
...
|
030929
|
| |
... |
|
|
celestias shadow
|
be what i want to be?
|
031229
|
| |
... |
|
|
starjewel
|
Daylight's slipping away
like burning oil from a lamp.
The sky has turned a heartless grey
And has left my once dry eyes damp.
Just watching the world pass by,
Like a sounless motion picture.
As all light eludes the sky
My love for you grows ever richer.
Why can't I stop the world from spinning?
These tears from falling,
this light from dimming?
And why can't you be here now?
I can't see the words I write
The pen moves silently on
As I scribble down my plight.
The dim light is colmpletely gone.
I'm stuck, I've stopped, lost the word
All I can do is repeat myself
and random thoughts I've heard.
As I place the notes on a shelf.
Why can't I stop the world from spinning?
These tears from falling,
this light from dimming?
And Why can't you be here now?
I want to look back now,
and read waht I've done
But I just don't know how.
You, you were the one.
Now what's this?
These random strewn verses,
I've longed so long for your kiss,
and have receieved not but curses
Why can't I stop the world from spinning?
These tears from falling,
this light from dimming?
And Why can't you be here now?
Out of the lines
Blind word start to fall,
I've lost sight of the confines
Because, now I can't see at all
It ends with dark
Pouring itself out like black oil
Light gone, without a spark.
And here I am left forever loyal.
Why can't I stop the world from spinning?
These tears from falling,
this light from dimming?
And Why can't you be here now?
|
040112
|
| |
... |
|
|
jenny enny dots
|
post anything to snowy_blather?
|
040202
|
| |
... |
|
|
puredream
|
Why can't I feel safe here anymore?
Why can't I want to be here?
Why can't I hug you, or him, or her?
Why haven't I hugged you in so long?
Why can't I just answer all these questions?
Why can't I breathe when I enter this place called home?
Why can't I need to be here?
Why can't I stop trying to run and escape?
Why can't I just run away?
Why can't I give up on you?
Why can't I make you proud?
Why can't I be all you want me to be?
Why can't I live up to all the "used to be's"?
Why can't I be happy?
Why can't I find joy.
What can't I love you anymore?
why_can't_you
|
040614
|
| |
... |
|
|
puredream
|
Why can't I remember how to cry?
|
040614
|
| |
... |
|
|
pobodys nerfect
|
why cant i
~say that when he talked about how happy he was to find her and how they'd spent a happy evening together,that i felt like my heart had been broken and that i had cried myself to sleep that night
~just tell him that i've secretly loved him for over two and a half years
~fall for someone who doesen't live so far away?
|
040614
|
| |
... |
|
|
pete
|
Why can't I live a life unexamined?
Because I live a life to filled with empitness and introverted pauses, lost in the long hours of the day.
Why can't I get up and leave again?
Because there is nowhere that I could go, and nothing that I could do to allow me to go.
Why can't the world spin the other way?
Because it simply can't.
|
040615
|
