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Soma
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From a journal in january-
i am contemplating the weather here in this crazy city I occupy. it is not as cold as people think. a moment ago i was staring at a water bottle about three meters from me, it had been sitting there for a couple of days and oxygen bubbles had formed. they sparkled against the light coming through the window. i tried to imagine this process but my mind was suddenly occupied with the fact that i must have food. pull on my striped pants. put on my shiny lipgloss. these things make me minutely happy. head out to the caf, and run into Michael on the way there. he gives me a hug and i get my shiny lipgloss on his shirt. sorry. i go to get food, swipe in, and realize i don't want to eat anything. i want to go back to bed. i know it isn't cold but i'm shivering. sitting in the student center and i suddenly realize that everything i ever write will always be past tense. the present is very very small.
i'm watching Caps and Katey out of the corner of my eye. he's eating (he ate?) Ice cream, and she's tying her shoes. i want to talk to Michael. i want to talk to Taylor. i want to go back to bed. I'm supposed to be walking down to the doctors, but I really loathe walking by myself, and I really just don't want to go. The Postal Service is blaring in my ears. I wonder what it would be like to go deaf. I suppose if I went deaf I would still have hearing in my dreams. I'd like to dream all the time, although with my dreams that wouldn't really be a great thing. I've been having strange dreams lately. I'm writing this note and feeling tired.
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