blather
what_doesn't_your_name_mean
from now on who aren't you? 041029
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from now on what isn't your name? 041029
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young pretender my name doesn't mean that i have a sense of identity.
it doesn't mean that i have a place in this world.
it doesn't mean that i deserve what i get.
my name doesn't mean that i know who i am, where i'm going, how i want to be.

my name does mean that i'm labelled, trapped forever behind the walls of association. it means that i have a being which is recognised within the state, that they can and will keep tabs on that name. my name means that i'm caught within social constraints, that people will judge me by it.

my name doesn't mean me.
041029
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mourninglight it doesn't mean that everything will be alright when you open your eyes in the morning.
It doesn't mean that you won't lay there for an extra 10, 20 minutes squeezing your eyes shut against everything that you're afraid the day will consist of.
It doesn't mean everything will be okay.
It doesn't mean you won't hurt..make mistakes..and sometimes come close to tearing to shreds everything that you ever cared about..


but it does mean you will get up..
eventually..
and no one will find you collapsed naked on the bathroom floor shivering yourself into oblivion..because you're better than that..and you have found how to string yourself together. all you need to do is take the first step..every morning..
the rest will come together
041029