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I miss you... I feel as though I havent seen you in days.
I have been thinking about you nonstop. I can smell you everywhere... on my clothes, in my hair, and I can feel your warmpth... but its not real. I miss your lube all over my hands... laughing about how much and how it is always all over when I am there. I miss how you would get all embarassed at silly things... like me reading your screensaver that read "film" and reading the blathes you posted in front of you.
I'm sorry I'm bland. I'm sorry I have ever been an asshole. I dont ever ignore you, even if it seems I do. I just sit and think to myself. I know you want to know what I am thinking, and I can usually tell you. But I am so used to not letting people know me at all... and now you are here trying to burrow into my world. Dont worry, I dont mind, but it will be hard for you and me.
I dont mind that we arent going out, but you are spending almost all of your time with John. You told me it would hardly change, and I believed it because we have gone through all of this shit before. But this time you just say hi, give me a hug, and go run off with John. I miss you so much...
I want to see you. The sight of you automatically calms me and makes me happy. Your touch induces euphoria. Your tender skin is the key to eternal happiness. You are perfect. I love you.
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