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unhinged
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when the inhibition of what they would think melted at the sight of you, and i needed to touch you to make you real all the pushing away that i had been failing at became clear. if it all could only come out in simple words. all that time you were gone from my life i never realized how much you put there. even though the past was just a friendly hug sandwiched between joints, you always let me really hug you. and then you left and i tried to make my life right without you. i tried to forget that you were ever there. and then magically there you were again. and so much horrible had happened to both of us. and at that moment i realized what you had been in my life. my sunshine; my only sunshine. the skies had been grey for so long that i was afraid that i would never be able to love someone the way that i now love you. from all the past through all my future, i love you so deeply, something i never thought i would feel, and it scares me. it scares me to know that maybe i wasn't as hopeless as i liked to think.
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030618
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