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andru235
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it was cool to see you tonight. it seems i still have a crush on you. i thought that after not hanging out with you for five years...but there it was.
there are so many things i like about you that i shall never tell you. how could i tell you? why would i tell you? you are straight, i know. there would be nothing gained except for awkwardness, and i've had my fill of *that*.
i still remember the night you came over with peter, way back in h.s., and we all got high smoking outta the fish pipe. then you lent me the fish pipe, and it got broken and i felt really bad, but you were cool about it.
and now, it seems you have even "donned ye not-so-gay apparrel ... "
it's like you are some sort of personal demon, whom i can only glance on rare occasions, and is most of the things i seek, but apparently cannot have. you are my friend without ever being present, i cannot hang around, i am not like you and your peers, i can offer you nothing. i don't understand this attraction. what's the point? i know it's not reciprocal. i suspect you know that i feel all these things. i also suspect that you know about my little soiree with the rope and the tree last year. could i please have some embarrassment to go with the despair? i'm not quite yet sufficiently despondent.
anyway, i hope you are well, jack. you are one of those people with a peculiar nobility of character, and i hope that fortune smiles upon you.
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051102
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