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tj_almost_breaks_down
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Teenage Jesus
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...and hope somebody cars. I feel like I don't know my wife any more. Her depression which she refuses to deal with, has created a malaise that I can't seem to shake. I've cried.
She loves money and I'm now working two jobs to bring her as much as I can. I think she sets fires with it. (JK) The kids have every toy you can think of. And I have no money in my pocket. But I don't really care about that. I don't need money. I need loyalty and love. That's all. I want to be appreciated. I want to be glad to be seen.
This is a hard blather to write. But I have to, b/c I don't know what to do. She seems like a shell to me sometimes. I know she got issues. But I can't make her deal with them. I do everything I can to make her feel loved and protected, and I'm met with indiference, and silence. She asks me what wrong; and my jaw drops.
Call me co-dependant, I don't care. I just want my wife to give me what I feel I deserve. I'm like the Beatles, All I Need is Love.
I feel if she can get her shit together and break dowb her barriers, our beautiful boys and I will be much happier and healthier.
Thanx for reading.
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020718
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daxle
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I'm not sure if I have any good advice, but it struck me how I think perhaps I was in a similar situation before... except I was the depressed one refusing to seek help. It's hard to believe that anyone can help you when you feel like that. She probably knows how she's hurting you but still can't dig herself out of the hole. Sadly, the only thing that got me to change was when he left me- it got me to wake up. It just takes hitting bottom. Can you wait for her to do that? Should you have to? I don't know really. But I do know that it's probably not going to be solved by something You can do. She has to do it for herself. Good luck...
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020718
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just a face
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I hope things turn out ok...
i almost didn't post anything but I just wanted to say my thoughts have been with you today...
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020718
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dB
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tj, man I feel for ya.
Depression is a weird thing. It's like looking at the world through bullet proof glass. You can do great damage to others but nothing can effect you anymore.
I hope she comes around.
The only thing I can suggest, and I mean this, go away for a while. Just be by yourself for a few days or a week. You sound like you need it and so does she. It will kind of break the cycle that she's developed and maybe she'll figure things out.
Like Daxle said, sufferers mostly have to snap themselves out of it. Sometimes you have to give them motive.
But for gods sake, have some time for yourself. Note that you need to heal yourself first before you can really help heal someone else.
Much Peace.
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020718
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Sailor Jupiter
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I hope getting all that off your chest was good for you Teenage Jesus. I like reading your blathes. =)
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020718
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Teenage Jesus
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Thanx EVERYBODY for the thoughts and good vibes. I love her, and I will wait as long as it takes. But I think I do need a day or two to get away.
All I can tell you today is that so far it's much better than yesterday. But of course it's only 6:58am!
You're all a bunch of sweethearts; thanx.
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020719
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d
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s' what we're here for man.
Have a good break.
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020719
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dB
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s' what we're here for man.
Have a good break.
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020719
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Teenage Jesus
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Update- it's been a great couple of days. I just wanted you to know; we're fine. I can't thank you enough- you all really made a difference for me.
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020720
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Sailor Jupiter
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*smiles* Glad to hear all is fairing well.
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020720
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satan satan satan
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yes, glad indeed, and may things continue to be well for a long time to come
i'm building a miniature inferno course somewhere in the middle of the sahara, a little diversion, just "for_the_hell_of_it"
bring dad, we'll get good and loaded and have ourselves a time...
but again, glad to hear that things have improved for you
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020720
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Teenage Jesus
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I love you guys. See you in hell...ON the Golf Course!
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020720
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dB
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Yes. Shall we meet down at the club? Maybe play the back nine?
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020721
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Teenage Jesus
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We're havin' bloodies at 10am, and playin' 36 baby! (BTW-My Sweetie SURE has been sweet lately. Sometimes, you just have to wait for `em. I hope your patience holds out Daf. I'm thinking about you. Hope the vibes arrive in a timely fashion.) Bring your 2-wood DB; those are some LONG fairways down there! (SatanX3- I'd like to have a word with your greens keeper.)
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020721
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