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Casey
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I really don't understand what the hell is going on. My family is going crazy, I keep getting hurt on things, I'm becoming so accident prone, my reflexes are swiftly fadeing, and I'm so sick of being watched and chewed out at work. I'm so damn tired of being the village idiot. Everyone I work with thinks I'm a fool and I can't do anything right. I hate genetics, every one of my friends has decided to either get a girlfriend or just up and start fucking every girl they meet. I'm still alone, without love of any kind.
I keep trying to live my life emotionless so it doesn't hurt, but either that's not how the world works or I'm just a fucking pussy at this crap. I hate having five bosses, they all tell me different things and make me do things I don't want to do. And I've been finding out lately that I really am not good at anything I do. Why the hell can't I just be good at ONE thing is this world. I just want to have one attribute that I can do better than anyone else. I want to feel special for once. I want to feel like a lightning bug in a world of ants, so that for just one tiny second I can shine and feel like I didn't something worth living for. Like maybe I could be the best in the world at giving oral sex or something like that.
Some people say that the hero always get the girl, others say it is the villians. Well, I'm neither. I'm not a hero or a villian. My life isn't even mine anymore. I feel as if I'm just playing an extra in everyone else's movie. I am the helpless citizen. I am the one who gets eaten by godzilla. I am the nameless security guard who gets drop kicked or shot. I am the extra sitting in the back of the bar in the shadows. Looks like no girl for me. I don't even get a line.
I'm not even writing my own life story anymore, I feel as though I've just dropped my pen and left to help everyone else with theirs. I don't write the book that is my life. I don't even have a chapter any where devoted to me. In the end I don't even think I'm a ant in an ant world, I'm more like a flea.
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