blather
this_boredem_will_drive_me
sab /to do something stupid
/to go insane


i will scratch my very eyes out
i swear

there is a screaming in my head

fuck i hate this job.
041020
...
suicidalchinadoll to the ends of the earth and back..
to create issues where there were none..
nuts
NUTS I tell you
041021
...
Lila Pause This boredom will drive me nowhere.
- That's the worst thing about it.
I don't bother to alleviate it.
I accept this state as one of normality.
It's quite natural that nothing about life should really capture one's imagination for any longer than a split second.
A hundred girls on a porn site; each one special, each one unique...
Each one no different than the others.
A hundred television stations,
A hundred renaissance men who re-direct our tired eyes to the spark and fire of human flesh and blood.
Real life, with its wild unpredictable raffles that draw alternatively trips of maddening euphoria and quiet rage.
Life, with all its infinate possibilities; each one special, each one unique...

Each one no different than the others.
041022