|
stork daddy
|
the thing about reality, is that it has to keep being real. every moment we're looking for confirmation of the moment before. if something falls apart, or disappears or is in anyways inconsistent with what we had just thought was real, suddenly is it less real? even if before, it was the reality we stake our lives on? do you trust your memory, or the new moment? how can you be sure which is the illusion, which story is true. if you remember exactly putting something somewhere, and then it no longer is there, were you wrong that you put it there, did someone take it? which side do you take? it's like that with a relationship, you can't rest on your laurels, it has to keep being real. this is what life is, looking for more and more confirmations of what's real. this is what's so difficult. even something which was previously the most beautiful real moment you'd ever known, suddenly can disappear. you can wake up one day and it seems besides the point, inconsistent, discardable. entire people, entire libraries of memories can be like this. we can let a person go this way. the sweet person we once loved. the good person we once thought we were. one act that disconfirms it, and we have to decide if our new reality is more real than our memory. that perhaps we were mistaken, that perhaps that old world is now inaccessible, irrelevant. everyday you fall asleep next to your lover, you have to say a silent prayer that when you wake up tomorrow, it will still be real, it will not have fallen apart in a million silent cracks, it will not have disappeared. you have to pray that that feeling, which you don't even remember often the start of, has not gone back to it's mysterious place of origin. you have to pray that it's still all real.
|
040214
|
