there_is_a_party
peyton
in
the
kitchen
i
can
hear
the
voices
the
clinking
of
drinks
the
laughter
the
really
bad
singing
i
dont
want
to
drink
i
dont
want
to
be
the
sober
guy
so
i
can't
go
in
there
so
i'll
listen
considerately
i'll
try
not
to
reach
out
i'll
ignore
the
sounds
sex
sex
sex
sex
so
much
sex
and
drugs
and
drinks
paper
dolls
dancing
on
the
ceiling
this
is
the
life
i
want
this
is
it
i
am
where
i
want
to
be
primed
two
nights
ago
i
was
horribly
drunk
ridiculous
and
in
the
party
the
drinks
were
mine
the
girls
were
there
i
looked
they
smiled
i
was
bronzed
but
not
tonight
my
crowd
is
gone
and
in
that
place
an
empty
space
of
people
a
crowd
the
next
day
it
was
with
someone
new
she
took
something
i
cant
feel
it
anymore
but
its
hollow
like
something
stolen
but
i
can
only
see
the
imprint
on
the
table
i
feel
it
the
desperation
i
really
have
to
keep
moving
i'm
too
sedentary
too
hollow
too
ignored
way
too
ignored
my
friends
are
all
out
of
town
on
the
same
weekend
she
is
with
her
baby
and
her
goddamned
husband
and
it
is
quite
obvious
she
doesn't
give
a
fuck
about
me
even
if
i
was
fantastic
because
i
was
fantastic
infinite
without
bounds
stellar
a
sign
of
the
stars
and
now
on
a
friday
night
or
a
saturday
morning
they're
having
that
goddamn
party
and
i'm
in
the
vault
of
blue
and
neon
and
ultraviolet
i'm
so
creative
and
addicted
and
back
even
though
i
said
i
wasn't
i
look
around
and
i
see
lies
I
SEE
YOUR
LIES
.
i
read
them
everyday
you're
like
everyone
else
and
when
you
look
at
your
pretty
hair
in
the
mirror
you're
like
them
but
that
has
nothing
to
do
with
this
story
and
this
party
and
this
release
i
am
a
blather_basketcase
tonight
it
seems
i
need
my
own
party
with
my
friends
and
my
drinks
even
i
had
some
i
would
play
my
music
and
greet
all
the
guests
and
laugh
and
make
lame
jokes
and
be
completely
drunk
and
it
might
be
me
having
sex
in
the
other
room
instead
of
two
people
i
don't
know
outside
my
window
or
in
the
basement
051008
...
egger
finds
this
suiting
her
headspace
admirably.
051008
