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the_value_of_love
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werewolf
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can unearned love supply a value that is love's cause? Well...can't it? worth a thought. I mean, what value does an infant have? and yet they are loved most often, perhaps for what they represent, another person who requires you to value yourself highly so that they may survive. I think love is a powerful reward, it is a way of cueing values, of showing another what in them is of value, which they then strengthen which in turns strengthens the love. It is a very dynamic relationship. Knowing one is loved, one has faith in their values, one sees the proof of them and one is unafraid to go forward with themself in even uncertain situations, this fearlessness is loveable and brings more love. This is something that is often instilled or missed during childhood. At some point, a person has learned enough to know that they are loved and valuable even when the immediate situation views them unfavorably, this is like what self esteem? i believe that's the jargon. However, if this has never been instilled, the person is doomed to wax and wane with the fickle looks of just about anyone and their personality will never be able to emphasize its strengths but will rather distrust any attempt that isn't sanctioned and will never have something to offer to others because their personality will never be other enough to be different or needed in a way that isn't infantile. If you don't have something to offer another person that they don't already have themself what do you have? People don't like infants that aren't really infants.
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020515
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theinquisitiveone
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[*eye opening blink!*] [sooo much...] "another person who requires you to value yourself highly so that they may survive". i gues i find this a little arrogant and highly compelling all at the same time. how one "values oneself highly" then becomes the challenge. i like the idear that a world exists where love is a requirement to survive. hmmm.
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020516
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werewolf
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well it's true, for an infant to survive, the mother or father must value herself or himself enough to be a stable gatherer of resources that the infant needs, a stable source of protection. This requires that they value their own efforts, that they value themselves, if they do not protect themselves and seek life for themselves the infant will be left alone. And in return, the infant gives a sense of need, a sense of accomplishment, the cause of the newfound purpose, new chances of success and a new standard of success. Love is indeed necessary for a child to survive into adulthood, and for an adult to prosper. The ultimate test of whether what we do in life is valuable or not is if it brings us love, from others or self (once we've developed enough) because despite the changes in society, we remain social animals, and our relationships still define us. They may not be as necessary to survival as we grow, but they are still necessary in childhood, and our childhood informs our adulthood. We learn early that relationships are the onlly way to survive, indeed we learn to a degree that survival seems empty if it is not through relationships. This is all rooted in a past where survival was possible through others, through the sharing of information, a network with fleshy nodes. i'm rambling now...i should give things more thought before i post them...but then would it still be blather?
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020516
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inneedofaroom
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oh no... it kinda makes sense. from my childhood, i can see why im so fucked up today. ive always been a taurus (fiercely independent)--always solving the problem myself ['doesnt play well with others']. this relationship stuff is really screwing me up; i think i need to go back and be nerdish again [im good at that!]. maybe i should just go fishing with my dad or granma. that sounds cool.
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020517
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unhinged
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the_law_of_diminishing_returns proven in my 'love' life
the commodification of everything human has also greatly diminished my style of love over the years. loyalty and devotion are hopelessly old_fashioned in the instant gratification/innovation age
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190709
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