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the_truth_that_i_am_just_now_realizing
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Jane Doe
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I don't want to live...
I don't want to breathe.
I don't want to cry another tear, for in hopes that, they'll just disappear; slowly retracing my path. I am not whole.
In the shower they run as crimson remorse tangled and weaved in with the rushing waterfall. Diluted. You don't notice them. They are the same as everything else. You can only see them in the quiet waters of a bath.
If only this aching pain would go away, and I could understand who I really am. What I am really doing. I don't want to live a routine. Berak the chain, break the habbits. I don't want you to live vicariously through me. It's my life, let me be.
I don't understand the way my brain works. I can take any inanimate object and mentally transform it into a depressing story that has no real value to anyone but me. It's like my sense of sight is multiplied and transformed into, unreality.
How am I to recover when I don't understand my disease?
You're dead. So let ME rest in peace.
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040129
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... |
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Dumb Nurse
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Dr. Millar, please report to room 365. Bring the machine that goes ping and those shock paddles. We have a slight emergency.
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040129
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Jane Doe
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great, I get a sarcastic remark in my rundown state of mind.
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040129
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dB
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would you rather have a lie instead? ok, here goes:
everything will be ok. It'll all turn out fine and you'll end up some poet goddess or something.
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040129
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dr millar
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all right, where's the patient?
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040129
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unhinged
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that's blather for you
but you will get blather_hugs too
claymoore
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i am chronically ill
and i will have to deal with the sickness of depression and addiction everyday for the rest of my life.
i just want it to go away. i want to wake up tomorrow and be happy. i guess i feel like happiness is a fairy tale and should not take this much fucking effort.
i just want to wake up tomorrow and be happy.
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040130
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oldephebe
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oE - *projects a blather hug towards unhinged* My heartsister - I wish that I could sing the melody that would sweep the truculent waters from your soul. The extreme droughts and the furious rapids. Please know that my words, my care are never far from your heart, even if I've never met you. I wish I could stand between your heart and the slinging stones that assail it. That's all I want to say.
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040130
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pipedream
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*folds her hands on her heart*
oE, you are truly a rare gift from God.
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040130
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sc
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i wouldn't want to be a poet goddess anyway --not now, i don't care about it
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040216
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