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stork daddy
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there are various conflicting elements in me that would make me seem ambivalent. and sadly one of the most overriding and often present elements is a strong desire for consistency (which makes social and evolutionary sense, since such a desire would allow us to be predictable to ourselves and those we depend on to know us and bolster us...not that there aren't arguments for lies, or hiding the ball, from others or ourselves as well...smirk smirk). And so this stalwart and regular personality is driven apeshit by the me who wants to fuck or fight or forget or forgive or just fade into oblivion or just matter or let others or have free will or not have, or recognize this, or fail to....
and so the question everyday is who is going to win the election? it would seem at least some of my questions were just answered. but that was only in this moment. if you'd do something else, you wouldn't really be you....but maybe the me right now has freedom as much as the me right then would...and we're simply of different minds........
it's muddy
just know if you befriend me...
i haven't yet decided what others mean
since i can hardly decide on myself.
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040914
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