blather
the_perfect_woman
Ouroboros once_upon_a_time

once upon a time there was a girl who grew up to be a woman. she was perfect. perfect in her perfectionism. her hair was blonde and straight. her glasses were always clean. her life was organized and controlled in every aspect. her command of english grammar was ludicrous. she woke up before the dawn to study and memorize latin verbs. her friends had to remind her to eat. she spoke clearly and succinctly. she was charming and sociable and had a great laugh. her professors loved her intelligent mind and drive. this woman was perfect, and she would get everything she wanted.
070204
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Ouroboros my jealousy of her makes me heart grow cold, my breath stops, my rage at why my parent's couldn't mold me into perfection expands. i hate her because i want to be her. 070204
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Ouroboros I can distract myself with ego pleasures, but when it comes down to it I am not and will never be smart enough, I will never know enough, I will never read enough- I am not at that level of intellectuals, of academics- sure I have many great qualities, and dr drew might pay me a compliment or two- but I am out of my league, and I can learn from her, but this comparing myself against her is hopeless. 070204
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Ouroboros trigger 070209