|
Rasputine {Vermelha}
|
I think I'm ruining my life, crushing the Ego icessantly against the dusty ground. I think university plunged on it and it has died. I think I'm not apt for university. I passed three chairs out of 6. I stood there, blankly staring at the grade. Yet another of my favourite subjects. How could I fail Classic Culture? I'm doing my best at shunning the victimising-attack, but my existence feels as important to the world as that of an ant. Though ants are probably of better use [invading houses or providing as nourishment for spiders][or whatever]. I think I overreacted with having found emotions. I was cleverer without them. I could be depressed over the lack of care and develop an improved self-expression on a daily basis. Now it seems my mind has floated off somewhere, allured by the hazy sight of *his* eyes, diverted from the real ambitions. All I apparently do is dream, but my mind can only produce the typical-teenager dreams of meeting someone who I actually already met. I wonder if there is anything else to me. If I could be more than what I am today. If this mediocre intellect is my limit. And why do I fear a sedentary life so much. And why this is getting to me so much. I wonder if I'll regret having written this by tomorrow. I always do. So I better stop complaining now. Just wanted to make my miserable state official to the world wide web. Not that anyone cares, though... :-p
|
010625
|
