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the_blue_confessional
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ten our birdmads and six hail grendels
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blather knows the secrets i will never tell my family or my friends and blather will never tell
not all of them, but many.
the things i can't say to anyone for fear that if they knew these parts of who i am or have been they would turn their backs and walk away
because these are the things i don't know whether to be proud of or ashamed of
because of the bad_things_i_have_done
because of the sex and the heroin and the times spent chasing_the_dragon
because of things a hundred times worse
sometimes i have to give myself a new name when i admit certain things because i wonder if the same fate i fear from those who i see every day will fall on me from the people who read these things here
i tread this fine line between living the uneventful life i now lead and looking over my shoulder for the sins of my past
and don't get me started on love
when i do find myself falling in love with someone, i hesitate to speak of it both from the fear of the rejections i have faced when it seemed to matter most and from my insecure fear that the one at the center of my attention would be embarassed by having attracted me of all people
so i keep quiet, and on the rare occasion when i do open my mouth to say these things, i am reminded of why i kept quiet in the first place
to say nothing of what happens when someone brings up the subject of bad_things_i_have_done
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011213
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unhinged
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she told me i had to send her the poems. i had to let her know how i felt. she would give them to her for me if i liked. no_no. if i was going to say it, i would say it myself. but, i won't say it. time has finally taught me that better. i am always afraid she will come here and find them anyways. things i never ever wanted her to know, knowing that she would and could react in every way except the way i wanted her to. telling someone you love them usually has the opposite than desired effect.
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020325
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sabbie
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thank you father, for i have sinned.
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020325
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yummyC
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too much is written in these lines i post
and its only a matter of time
before somebody finds me here
and locks me up with my own truth.
and i will shatter
because they will see me naked.
(really naked)
i'm scared...
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020325
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Syrope
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blather knows everything there is to know about me. its sorta blindly stupid of me...because i know at least one person i know in person reads my blathes. i dont care though...i have no one else to confess to. i always use the same name (once i accidentally didnt capitalize it, and another time i used a funky character map S and it didn't show up...but...anyway)
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020325
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Norm
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Imagine this... In the real world I'm thought of as a shallow person, even more so than I am here. I don't care about the girls I sleep with, I don't care about the people who hate me, I don't care about friends, I don't even care about my family. I don't even care about myself, they say "Why work out everyday if your going to drink twice as long as you pump iron?", fuck it, who knows. What if someone came and saw the real me?
How could I be the person I am, if the people who know me really knew me?
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020325
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minnesota_chris
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forgive me, blather, for I have sinned
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030825
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