blather
still_awake
andie why does no one tell you, when you're
a child, to enjoy it while it lasts
each day i feel older than the 1 before
and i've no idea where the hours go
i wonder if he'll keep me
if he'll let me stay
by his side, in his heart, with his love
his promises say he will
but his actions lead me astray
as the smoke swirls up and
the clock tacks on another minute
does he know i'm not there
or is the bed the right size now that
he's the only one who fills it?
the light is on, but i'm in the dark
keeping myself awak with thoughts
i shouldn't be having
my hair is in my face and i want to
cut it watch it fall to the floor
with my worries
but it's too late for that
so i'll go and crawl up to his head
and kiss him good night/good morning
and hope he never knows i'm still awake
because i think he doesn't need or want me
i can't tell him this, not today
because it's his birthday

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