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stagnant_void
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SuicidalAngel
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My life is ruined, I did it myself. Everything I try to accomplish, I always fuck up. I'm show this, I see this and I know this. Why do I even go on? I find it useless to go on living when all I do is dissapoint others whenI try so hard not to. If I could move and get things streight, I'd try. But living in this stagnant void, makes me want to jump up on this table and shoot myself. Just to get a reaction from someone. And all they'd really think is "what a mess" and all they'd really miss is all the favors I've done and then they'd go on applying my suicide to thier morals and telling others how it affected them and never think of what I was thinking when I'd sit in my corner of the bay and write -- about them. Wow two people actually spoke to me. Just because I'm the only one in this file with a sale, how superficial and I'm sorry I have to be so negative. I guess thats what happens when a person trys so hard and always ends up with dissapointment, neglect and depression.
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011212
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Norm
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You hit me harder than I ever asked... and I'm afraid I love you for it. You always said you'd knock some sense into me and you did, but that second solid rush knocked it right back out. All I can do now is wallow in your splendor and bask in your magnificance. You hit me again and you knocked away my memory of the entire ordeal. Probably for the best, says I.
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011212
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ClairE
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The worst kind. You really want those voids to shake what their momma gave them.
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011212
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birdmad
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the space inside my head
goddamit
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011213
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unhinged
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i've been trying really hard to figure out why everyday ends up seeming futile when i go to sleep at night. on the general scale, my life is good. i have a great family that cares about me, i go to college for free, i'm doing what i love in college. i guess it's when you don't have to worry about stuff like that, that you have time to worry about all the small stuff. i had to put up with it again tonight. once again i was the odd wheel and just once god fucking damnit i want to be able to look at someone and say all those things that lovers say without saying a word. so i've been over analyzing my life to a nauseating degree and i think i'm not a kid anymore. but if i could, i would give you a box of kisses. if i could cross the swamp in my heart that makes me want to swallow pills and give myself scars. if people could understand is my reaction is how i care. oh_well
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011214
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three words
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yesterdays stagnant_void dont_look_now
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050503
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