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sabbie
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i can still see the eucalypt trees reflected in the headlights and the winding hill road and the stars in the sky and the cold fog and the warm breaths steaming. i could populate that hill with a thousand friends but in the end i was alone up there and when i turned off the car and walked away into the bush i could have had some kind of religious/spiritual/physiological/philosopihcal experience and that would have been nice but in reality i sat on gravel and admired the stars for a while but i was fucking freezing and my butt started to hurt so i got back into the car and drove back on down the road. it would have been lovely had my life been peppered with blinding flashes of light, visions, clear as crystal, signposts that proclaimed Truths and pointed out which way to go but it never happened to me. i did my best with what i had at the time, and only sometimes went hungry ot cold.
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020319
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