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sometimes_i_miss_her
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pete
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and i really shouldn't, it's been so long, but it was quite long at the time too. maybe thats it, no real good bye after over a year of close companionship, even though its been months, i still have moments left unfulfilled. damn, i feel emo tonight.
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070805
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unhinged
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when i'm surrounded by boys at the bar and passing strangers give me that look. that 'what a whore' look. i've never had many girl friends.
we could all sit in their living room watching tv without talking. silence is a family priviledge. like he said, we spent time together like families pretend to. sitting in front of the tv, quiet, staring. usually, a situation like that would make me anxious. with her, him, i felt safe.
she was closer to him. she did live with him after all. i think she was what stood in the way of the stupid thing that happened between me and him. he missed her. he wanted me to be her. i can't be her. sometimes he comes to me because he can't go to her. (but, i think he loves me more than i give myself credit for)
your family is who you make it
sometimes i don't figure it out
til it's too late
sometimes i miss her
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070805
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birdmad
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there's a number of "her"s that i miss and a few that i don't
it doesn't cut my legs out from under me like it used to...doesn't send me over the edge into some abysmal despair anymore...
but sometimes, just sometimes, on an overcast day, i can't help but feel some faint pang, maybe just a flash of a wistful little ache over some of them, especially with the thought that i have never crossed their minds again since i saw them last
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070806
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